One of the things I found most disturbing in hearing a media presentation on Flibanserin last week was the ease with which the researchers shrugged off any concerns about not only safety but long term effects of this experimental drug being tested for use as a female libido booster (or treatment for hypoactive sexual desire disorder).

It was frustrating to be only getting a marketing presentation when what I wanted was published results. Waiting for such things doesn't really work with a business model I guess, so the publicity comes before the publications.

Still I was interested and happy to read a few articles this week that are musing and taking educated guesses about the ways Flibanserin may change more than our insurance premiums. Here are two articles from this week. Both are critical of Flibanserin but from different perspectives (one is more concerned about the science, the other about the long term effects of taking the drug). I promise that when I read content that isn't copied directly from a press release, and is more supportive of the drug, I'll share that too.

Neuroskeptic Blog - One Pill Makes your Libido Larger

Psychology Today - Supersize Orgasms?

I have an ambivalent relationship to capitalism. I'm a co-owner of a sex shop, but it's a democratically run worker co-operative in Canada (about as socialist as you can get and still make money). I love a good deal and like making money, but also believe with all my heart that capitalism is the cause of much of the pain and suffering we endure, and about 30% of everything I do, I do for free. Of all the ways that the holidays bring out my craziness, holiday shopping is one of the biggies. With that in mind, I thought I'd offer some tips on where to get the hot sex toy deals for your pre-holiday shopping. Keep in mind, these listings do not imply an endorsement, for that, check out our sex shop reviews and sex shop hall of fame.

The Stockroom Thanksgiving Sale
The oldest sex shop on the web is offering up to 50% off on over 50 items from vibrators and lubricants to dungeon beds and bondage mittens. Sale is on until December 2.

Tool Shed's Black Friday Sale
If you're in Milwaukee check out the Tool Shed's 2nd annual black Friday sale. It's only in-store and it's literal; 20% off any black colored item in the store.

My Pleasure
Their Thanksgiving sale means 10-20% off every order (depending on how much you spend). It can be a little tricky to navigate your way between the hyped products (yes, I'm calling you out Laura Berman "designed" sex toy line) and the ones that are actually good quality, but they've got both on the site, plus tons of great, and free, sex information.

Babeland Black Friday Specials
Babeland's offering is a bit lightweight compared to other sites, but with free shipping over $50 and a free vibrator with a purchase of $70 or more (while supplies last) it's something to be thankful for.

EdenFantasys
True to their overall approach, there's a mix of duds and real gems among the 31 products in this site's annual sale. But with prices as low as $5, and their seemingly endless efforts to engage users, it may be the sex toy site you've been looking for.

StoryCorps, an independent nonprofit whose mission is to honor and celebrate one another's lives through listening has designated November 27 a National Day of Listening. They are encouraging everyone to take one hour on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, to sit down and record a conversation with someone important to you. Their website has tips on how to do the technical part and they also offer suggestions on questions you might want to ask.

I'm a big fan of StoryCorps, and usually stop what I'm doing when it comes on NPR. But I'm always keenly aware of the stories I don't hear on those StoryCorps moments, and how many of them have to do with sexuality and gender. Our experiences of our sexual selves and our experience of gender is intimately linked to how we experience the rest of the world. These are stories that say so much about the unique time and place we live in. These are stories that should be archived for history as much as stories about loved one's lost to war, schoolyard triumphs, work, and family life. In fact sex is in all these stories too, only it rarely gets spoken about.

Which brings me to this. I think it would be great if at least some of us who participate on Friday decided to take a risk and ask at least a few questions about sex and/or gender. You could even make your whole conversation about it, but that might be too much for this first year.

If you're game, but not sure where to start, I thought I'd offer my own question generator below. If you're reading these questions and bristling at the idea of asking a friend, family member, or partner any of them, it's hard for me to make an argument here, but I promise that there is little that is as powerful as letting someone talk about their feelings about sexuality. It takes good listening skills and compassion, but the payoff is worth it. Remember, these are only suggestions.

National Day of Listening, Sex & Gender Questions

How did you learn about sex? Who was the first person to talk to you about sex? Do you remember what they told you?

How do you think people should treat each other when it comes to sexual and gender differences? What do you notice about how people actually do treat each other?

I just had a chance to talk briefly with Caroline Earle from CREA about what sounds like a great new project. It's an online course offering training in disability, sexuality and rights for people working in development, health and rights NGOs and social activists. Who could this training be good for? Caroline gave the example of someone working in an HIV/AIDS clinic who would certainly be aware of how HIV impacts people's lives, but might not have made the connection to disability and get how powerful (for both individuals and organizations trying to make change) linking sexuality, gender, and disability can be as sites of political struggle.

This is such a needed training. I find that in even the most sexually progressive organizations there is still a general lack of acknowledgment of disability rights in general and folks living with disabilities in particular. And on the other side, it's often hard to get disability rights groups to take up sexual rights as part of their mandate.

The training is entirely online and they seem committed to using as accessible technologies and formats as possible. It's nine weeks and will take about five hours a week, but people can work, to some extent, at their own pace. Each week offers a power point and lecture notes, readings, and activities/assignments.

It sounds like a great primer for anyone interested in opening up the work they and/or their organization does and shifting away from a model of exclusion (which, lets face it, is how most organizations function if you identify as disabled). I also love that assignments will focus on helping each participant find ways to bring what they are learning back to their organization in a really practical and concrete way.

Lastly, it's only $50! And they offer a fee waiver if you or your agency simply has no money at all. I've been part of workshops and courses like this in the past, but always in person and always when I had the time and money to attend. Two privileges a lot of folks working around sex and disability don't have.

The course developed out of a panel at a conference called Disabled Queer Women Working Together for Our Sexual Rights and the format of doing an online course came from CREA collaborator and one of the course instructors Janet Price.

The deadline for signing up is December 18th. The course runs from February 1 to April 1, 2010.

You can find more information, download the course brochure and application form at the top of the CREA homepage (it's small, and easy to miss).

Related - Sex & Disability on About.com