Champagne, Noisemakers, and Transient Genital Feelings

What with the biggest drinking holiday of the year fast approaching, I thought it might be a good time to revisit the complicated and not fully understood relationship between sex and alcohol.

Despite the best efforts of well meaning sex educators, many of us use drugs, particularly alcohol, prior to having sex. A few drinks seems relaxing, it helps people let their guard down, and the fact is that research shows that in small amounts alcohol does have something like an aphrodisiacal effect (brilliantly referred to as “transient genital feelings”).

So what’s the problem? Well aside from the devastating long term effects of alcohol abuse on sexual functioning (to say nothing of the effects on the rest of your life), the fact is that it would probably be best if all of us were fully conscious when we were making our sexual decisions (literally and figuratively). There is a reasonable concern that when someone is under the influence they may be less likely to negotiate what they want, whether that’s a particular form of contraception or protection from STDs, or just that they don’t like certain sex positions, or some kinds of sex talk.

There’s also the problem of how we think alcohol is going to effect us sexually. These “expectancy effects” may have an even bigger impact than the physiological changes that result from alcohol. Most people expect to be emboldened and sexually assertive, and this has an impact on how bold and sexually assertive they are. The flip side of this is that people also assume that if someone appears intoxicated they are more sexually available and willing.

All of these assumptions are dangerous and in the end, unnecessary. Here’s another idea. If you’re wondering how sexually available someone is, ask them. If you need a few drinks to be able to communicate your sexual desire to someone, maybe you should send them an email instead. But since we don’t live in any sort of ideal world, the best we can do is try to plan ahead for hot sex the way we want it.

If research tells us anything, it’s that generalizations are possible, but when it comes to specific sexual situations, each one is unique. How risky you are sexually will depend on many factors, but possibly the most important one, and the one you can control, is how aware you are of the sexual risks. Understanding how things like having a few (or more than a few) drinks before having sex impacts your decision making is essential to making decisions that are in the best interest of your health. And what with all those New Year’s resolutions around the corner, why not get a jump on thinking about your health, while you jump into bed.