Sex...but not the digusting kind

Associated Press picked up a local story from a Hampton, New Hampshire newspaper about a high school that ran a “sex issue” and had, not surprisingly, negative response from parents.

One parent, who has requested the sex issue become a topic at the next public school board meeting referred to the issue as “a vile, disgusting piece of pornography I wouldn't want to be in front of children, let alone paid for by taxpayers.”

She was quick to point out that it isn’t sex she’s uncomfortable with, and that she and her two children “discuss sex openly, ‘but not in a disgusting manner.’ Of course I’m dying to know the difference between discussing sex in a disgusting and a non-disgusting manner. I suspect in this equation non-disgusting=abstinence and disgusting=everything else.

Being someone who is as fascinated with vile disgusting pornography as the next person (for purely professional reasons, of course), I wanted to see if I could read this prurient smut put out by twisted youths hell bent on corrupting their peers. What I found was further proof that teenagers are far more complicated, intelligent, and analytic, than parents give them credit for.

A complete copy of the sex issue accompanied the original story on Seacoastonline (and by complete I mean complete with what one can only hope are coffee stains). Here’s some of what I found:

From an article with the most complained about headline: "Why men love women who love women"

“Suggestively lesbian poses run rampant in magazines, movies, and television. Meanwhile, pop culture media is almost entirely devoid of realistic, loving female partners. Every click of the remote brings forth yet another instance of meticulously airbrushed, promiscuous-looking girls kissing women for their excitement of men…Even more revoltingly common is the image of girls almost kissing girls, looking breathy and pathetic as an audience looks on. (Men’s magazines are particularly fond of this aesthetic).”

From a sex quiz on page three:

You can’t get STDs from giving or receiving oral sex (false)
There is no way you can get pregnant from anal sex (false)
Everyone you know is doing it. (false)

The following page has a well written article about the impact of media portrayals of sex that deals with body image, suicide ideation, STDs, and more.

The final page contains a range of useful information including a glossary, a discussion of birth control and safer sex practices, a piece about a nursery that the high school used to have for teen parents, and finally, like any good sex issue, a funny voyeuristic piece about the romantic and sexual life of high school students from the perspective of custodians who “see and hear things that no students would ever expect”.

Can you spot the pornography in any of the above passages? Me neither. I can’t even begin to complain about the disservice (both to legitimate sex education and pornography) that comments like those of the above mentioned parent do.

The definition of pornography is not “anything you disagree with”. And while there isn’t one agreed upon definition of pornography, usually it involved content designed to arouse. It is clear from reading this paper (and after reading it I have t wonder how many parents even bothered) that nothing written in it was designed primarily to arouse or titillate. Mind you it’s well written, and follows many journalistic and editorial conventions (like headlines that will grab the readers attention) so it’s definitely meant to be engaging. But would it be enough to turn a teenager on? From my memories of being a teen I seem to recall that lunch time was enough to turn me on, so maybe that isn’t the appropriate yardstick in this case.

The editorial that opens the issue states plainly that its intention is to educate. They argue that youth aren’t getting the sex education they need and that if we want to keep healthy and happy we need to talk about sex. Oddly enough, American adults agree with this. In one study over 90% of them agreed that youth should have access to comprehensive sex education. So why is this newspaper causing such a stir? I can think of at least two possibilities:

a) people want their kids to have comprehensive sex education, just so long as they don’t have to hear about it or get involved in it.

b) most parents had no problem with the newspaper, but we only hear about the complaining ones (imagine AP picking running a headline “Youth educate themselves, parents offer support and encouragement”)

The editors of the paper obviously knew what they were up against. In their editorial they write:

[Sex] is something parents hope their children remain ignorant about until after marriage. It is something faculty members and administrators hope not to deal with, but something that almost all students have experienced or been exposed to…We are not talking about SEX merely to irritate but instead to enlighten. We are also not trying to urge students to have sex. This is not giving students an excuse to disobey parent’s wishes, or be reckless with their sexuality, but we are trying to do the exact opposite.”

And with apologies to a few basic rules of grammar, I think they’ve done exactly what they set out to do.

Read more - Boston Globe: Parents protest sex issue of high school newspaper

Related - Talking with your kids about sex