Searching for a Better Sex Blog
A few weeks ago Susannah Breslin wondered what’s next for sex blogs. She wrote:
“I think there's gotta be a better sex blog out there on the horizon. Something more than one more portal to free porno. Something other than one girl's Dear Diary of zipless fucks. Something without pseudonymous erotica, bad porn ads, and half-naked self-portraits via cellphones.”
I have a deeply neurotic and fundamentally unhealthy relationship to blogs. I belong to a transitional technological demographic and while I read blogs voraciously for work, every click holds the possibility of sending me reeling into a fit of informational inadequacy. To top it all off, reading, writing and thinking about sex is work so virtually the only fun thing left for me about sex is actually having it. So in the end, I’m not really sure that I want more sex blogs as much as I might like more blogging about sex. But Susannah’s post made me realize that I haven’t thought much about what I’d actually want from a better sex blog.
A better sex blog would incite action.
We aren’t a nation that is mobilized by sex (full disclosure: I’m writing this from Canada, so I’m not actually part of your nation, even though you wouldn’t know it to turn on the TV up here). Individually, yes, we are often mobilized by sex, but when it comes to protecting our own sexual rights, let alone the sexual rights of others, we fail miserably. It would be nice if a sex blog were able to rouse us to a little more action than dropping our pants.
A better sex blog would be less cool.
I find it difficult to deal with how cool so many sex writers appear to be. With very few exceptions, the sex bloggers and writers I have met in person have been kind, more than a little geeky, and self effacing. But their online personas come across as too-cool-for-school and distant. Sex isn’t distant, or at least it shouldn’t be and if you’re want to say something, make it from the heart, not a PR handbook.
A better sex blog would reveal something about the reader and the blogger.
So many sex blogs offer blow by blow accounts of the supposed sex lives of their authors. It doesn’t take long to tire of this stuff. I want a sex blog that reveals something personal and ties it to experience we can all relate to. We are terribly isolated sexually, and what we need is more reminders of what we share.
A better sex blog would be about everything, just like sex.
We have faithfully replicated online the myriad ways, both individual and systemic, we compartmentalize sex in our daily lives. Sex blogs provide an opportunity to stop all this sexual segregation. It’s true that the way you have sex says a lot about your sexuality, but so might other things, like the way you vote, or deal with a minor traffic accident, or even the death of a loved one. Surprise us by reminding us that sex is part of everything.
A better sex blog would be critical about sex.
This would be a real feat. There is so much non-pornographic sexual content out there, in print, online, on television and radio, and much of it isn’t very good. But the unwritten rule among sex-positive writers and performers is that you support the work of your colleagues uncritically. The world of sex blogs, and sex writing, needs thoughtful critique.
A better sex blog would be subversive.
To be subversive in the current climate of sex writing means to talk about bad sex, to show confusion, alienation, and fear. These aren’t things everyone could or should do in a blog, but if someone did it honestly and directly, it would be wonderful.
Read more – The Reverse Cowgirl:Sex Blogs 2.0
Related - More Sex Blogs
I love how you’re challenging the “if it’s about sex, we need to love it” mentality and encouraging bloggers to aim for quality and complexity, and to be more critical about other sex bloggers.
I believe my blog about sex and aging qualifies as a “better sex blog.” It speaks out about older-age sexuality in all its colors, giving voice to seniors who are willing to spill their secrets under cover of Internet anonymity.
My blog not only raves about how marvelous senior sex is (and for many of us, it’s the best sexual time of our lives) but also delves into those challenges that make it problematic: being a single senior in a youth-oriented society, for example, or learning how to communicate sexual concerns to partners and doctors.
I invite you to take a look —
Joan Price
author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty (Seal Press, 2006, http://www.joanprice.com/BetterThanExpected.htm)
Join us — we’re talking about ageless sexuality at http://www.betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com
I love how you’re challenging the “if it’s about sex, we need to love it” mentality and encouraging bloggers to aim for quality and complexity, and to be more critical about other sex bloggers.
I believe my blog about sex and aging qualifies as a “better sex blog.” It speaks out about older-age sexuality in all its colors, giving voice to seniors who are willing to spill their secrets under cover of Internet anonymity.
My blog not only raves about how marvelous senior sex is (and for many of us, it’s the best sexual time of our lives) but also delves into those challenges that make it problematic: being a single senior in a youth-oriented society, for example, or learning how to communicate sexual concerns to partners and doctors.
I invite you to take a look —
Joan Price
author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty (Seal Press, 2006, http://www.joanprice.com/BetterThanExpected.htm )
Join us — we’re talking about ageless sexuality at http://www.betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com
I have found my calling! Certified Sex Educator…
Thank You!
That’s great. If you’re serious check out the website of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. They’re the people to talk to!
I couldn’t agree more with all of this. I’ve found that the longer I read blogs in general, the more I read sex blogs in particular. Not, I think, out of prurient interest (apart from the fact that reading about sex is fundamentally more amusing than reading about someone’s holiday stories), but because the way people write about sex and their relationship to it, if they write honestly, is so much more revealing of human nature. The more I read, and the more I write my own, the narrower my focus becomes. I’m not so much interested in what people do when they have sex as how they feel about it… and everything else. It’s far too easy just to describe a sex act, and much more difficult to convey something that will affect the reader above the groin.
““I think there’s gotta be a better sex blog out there on the horizon. Something more than one more portal to free porno. Something other than one girl’s Dear Diary of zipless fucks. Something without pseudonymous erotica, bad porn ads, and half-naked self-portraits via cellphones.”” – here I don’t agree.
Yee very qinpoqryant information
Though it is more oriented towards how men can be better lovers, give their women amazing pleasure, and help her unleash her natural sexuality… I think my blog would qualify as a better sex blog.
You can find it here: David Shade’s Masterful Lover Blog
Give women pleasure!
David Shade
Hi,
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Sex simply cannot be good unless it has a perfect combination of foreplay, stimulation and final intercourse. This entire factor should be completely synchronized in order to have better sex. Better sex is all about erotic enjoyment which arouses your partner into multiple orgasms. Read on to find out how you can have better sex too and achieve mind blowing results in bed.
Everybody dreams about having and giving the best sex sessions ever. Sex can be a major problem for many people, and not because they aren’t getting any, but because they don’t perform very well.
Keep up the great work!!!!!
This is a great post. Lots are what I used to do on my old “sex” blog but I haven’t had much luck getting my new blog going.