How can sex make the world a better place?
If you spend most of your work life thinking about sex it can be easy to get caught up in the minutiae of it all. And because sex is for many of us a site of conflict, anxiety, and pain, you can also quickly slip into feeling down about sex. When this happens I turn to colleagues and friends whose work reminds me of the big picture, and the potential for sex to be a positive force. Recently I asked some of these people to share their visions of how sex can make the world a better place. Over the next few days I’ll share their answers with you. If you have thoughts of your own you can share them in the comments section.
From Miriam Kaufman:
Sex makes the world a better place because it gives us something to talk and laugh about. It is an area where we all feel vulnerable, which can be a good thing, because it gives us commonality (it can also make the world a worse place, because many people think they are the only ones who are vulnerable and can get kind of weird about it).
When sex is pleasurable, it can relieve pain, distract us, bring us closer to others and make us feel better about life, all of which are good for the world. When a person is recognized as a sexual being, with the right to control their sexual expression, then they feel empowered and know that others see them as unique individuals rather than objects to be used.
If we could have an hour or two when everyone had consensual sex (either with themselves or others), that would be a period of time when there would be no killing, no war, less pain and hunger, less fear and a liberation for all.
~ Dr. Miriam Kaufman
Author, pediatrician and public educator Miriam Kaufman is a highly sought after speaker and a regular contributor to the national media. Most recently Miriam is the co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability.
Well put, Dr. Kaufman. Though I see little hope for the liberating effect of freely expressed consensual sexuality in our world where the majority of humankind lives a life governed not by reason but by superstition. One can dream, however. And some of us can take advantage of this natural part of our lives so irrationally feared or condemned by, sad to say, the majority.
(RE: “If we could have an hour or two when everyone had consensual sex (either with themselves or others), that would be a period of time when there would be no killing, no war, less pain and hunger, less fear and a liberation for all.”)
Who would babysit and milk the cows during those couple hours? I think we should have an intelligent schedule for these events… perhaps giving a new meaning to United Nations.
In its purest sense,it is a beautiful and wondrous aspect of an integral expression of who we are. Sadly it has been cheapened, abused and misunderstood by the masses, including moi. We don’t realize its full potential of our individuality until sometimes in our more mature years;
for males – perhaps when EDS bottoms out our quick sexual response. In our “discovery” years, it is a ‘plaything’ – a toy which often is misappropriated by our fledgling psyche. Coitus is one aspect – there are others to be discovered between individuals. Our sexuality can well be applied clothed – without the genitals being involved. Care to use the other ‘instruments’ of our sexuality – particularly ‘the head’ many of us in our youth ignored or neglected -the one on our shoulders. Give to your mate the wonder of your full attention -themself – for guys -her. Words of endearment, honestly spoken, can bring on an ‘orgasm’ of the soul. An adoring look into her eyes, a pinky swear, a high five, foot play under the table and more can express our sexuality, our individuality; most importantly, giving of ourselves in an unselfish and nurturing act of caring that will bless your socks -and everything else off of you.