How can sex make the world a better place?

If you spend most of your work life thinking about sex it can be easy to get caught up in the minutiae of it all. And because sex is for many of us a site of conflict, anxiety, and pain, you can also quickly slip into feeling down about sex. When this happens I turn to colleagues and friends whose work reminds me of the big picture, and the potential for sex to be a positive force. Recently I asked some of these people to share their visions of how sex can make the world a better place. Over the next few weeks I’ll share their answers with you. If you have thoughts of your own you can share them in the comments section.

From Dr. Petra Boynton:

Sex is something that first and foremost should make us feel good. It might be through desiring someone, being wanted, through a kiss or the anticipation of a kiss, or through physical and emotional sensations that come from being in love or in lust.

Sex challenges us. We take for granted even what the term 'sex' means, and assume it means the same things to everyone. Look closer and we appreciate how sex can be anything from teenage petting to SM. It mixes with politics, psychology, economics, history and anthropology. It's something everyone has an opinion on and most of us do - but it's also something we frequently disagree upon. Sex can therefore be a place of physical passion, and also a place of subversion, activism and protest.

At it's best sex can inspire art and poetry, it can lead us on adventures and encourage us to share and try new things. It's magical and mystical and can provide comfort, passion, and care. It may be something that we encounter frequently or lives in our memories. It may be something that really happened to us, or something we'd always longed for. We may experience it in real or virtual worlds. It can push at the boundaries of our imaginations and fantasies - or can feel safe and reassuring.

It's vital we keep remembering how sex is something that can make the world a better place because we currently live in a climate where sex has become something we view with fear or loathing, or is linked to consumerism or judgmental thinking. We're faced with sexual imagery that might make us think we're liberated, but masks how for many sex can be a source of anxiety, coercion, boredom or fear.

The whole time we fixate on sex as something that has to be managed or controlled, or we view it through medical, consumerist or political lens we miss all the positive things sex can be - or could be if people had permission to enjoy safer and more consensual activities.

It's important for journalists, educators, medics, therapists and all those involved in the 'sex industry' as well as the public to appreciate how sex is a many splendored thing. If we can remember sex should be a positive experience it can help us tackle the problems of poverty, lack of education, misinformation, homophobia, racism, gender inequality, disease, and consumerism that all threaten our sexual lives.

Above all, sex is positive because it should be about choice. When to have sex, with whom and how. Deciding what you like - and what you don't. Learning how to share that with a partner and appreciating that you can say 'yes' as well as 'no'. Sex isn't something we all have to do all the time, but is something we can enjoy on our terms. With the knowledge that although sex is important, it does not have to define our lives unless we so desire. Idealistic? Yes. But not an unreasonable request.~ Petra Boynton, Ph.D.
You can read more from lecturer, author, and social commentator Petra Boynton on her blog or at her regular column on Mansized.