Telling Your Sexual Story

One of my favorite ways to get to know someone is to get them talking about their sexuality. I’m usually less interested in the stats (what they’ve done, who they did it with, how often they’ve done it, etc…) than in the cumulative history and how, as an adult, they understand their personal development. Listening to people talk about how they were raised, the circumstances of their early sexual experiences (which often are not happy ones) and how they have ended up where they are can be intimate and powerful.

But sharing your most intimate sexual history with strangers (even, maybe especially, strangers who write about sex for a living) is not always something people want to, or should, do. Telling your story, if only to yourself, gives you an opportunity to learn more about your own sexuality, and in the telling there is great potential for transformation. Most of us keep a lot of sexual secrets, including secrets we keep from ourselves. Making your sexual history explicit to yourself is a relatively safe way to start exploring those secrets.

This kind of sexual history is something very different from the kind you may have had taken by a doctor or therapist at some point in your life. If you’re interested in what I mean, you can read more, and find a kind of loose outline for writing your own sexual history by following the link below.

Read more - Write Your Own Sexual History