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Cory Silverberg

Too Hot for Sex

By July 20, 2011

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In Toronto, where I live, we've been enduring record temperatures. It's hot, and there is little relief for those of us who don't live with wall-to-wall air conditioning. This heat got me thinking about men.

Men, I'm told, always want sex. They think about it every 7 seconds, or maybe 30 times a day or 5,000 times a year. I can't keep track. I'm thinking about other things. Which is one of the many ways that being a man just doesn't describe being me.

I find when I let go of the need to meet any of the ridiculous expectations that come along with the label 'man' my life gets much more interesting, and frankly better. You can do this with sex too. Especially in the heat.

If you're like me, and find it too hot for sex, maybe what you need to do is re-think sex. Sex, despite what Helen Singer Kaplan suggested, does not always have to equal fantasy + friction. Sex can be literally frictionless but still very hot.

You can have sex without moving very much at all. You can have sex with your eyes and ears or with your nose or tongue. You can have sex with your breath. Sex doesn't need to include a lot of well intentioned humping. In fact most of us could do with a brief hiatus from humping.

Mind you, if you like the heat and the sweat and the movement, then sex can be all those things too. The problem, in my opinion, with both sex and gender is when they are presented as facts, as opposed to options.

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Comments
July 20, 2011 at 9:15 am
(1) Vallin says:

Down here in Hot-Lanta we’re used to heat–and hotties. Too hot for sex would mean inside a burning building.

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