Over the past few weeks I have been emailing with an About.com reader who decided to wait for marriage before having sex. He made this decision, but he's worried about it. What struck me the most about his first email was his expression of doubt. This, I think, is unusual.
Not that people who try to abstain from sex don't have doubts about their choices. Like all of us, they must. But when you read about the issue of abstinence or chastity particularly in the media, you rarely find people equivocating. Instead you have a polarized set of opinions; there are those who think abstaining from sex is healthy, or spiritually right, or simply better and there are those who paint abstainers as religious nut jobs who are missing out, and who somehow don't really know themselves because they aren't having sex.
This is the way things are presented in the media and when individuals are asked to publicly speak in defense of a choice that is being made political. In private conversations you'll find people are far more confused. And what we all need is a chance to talk it out and think it through.
Which is what we did in our email exchange. Because sometimes spectating can be engaging, I've compiled and condensed the conversation and link to it below.
Read More - No Sex Before Marriage?
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