When I first saw this image (which I caught via Io9) I couldn't help but look at the poor Fleshlight and wonder what evil genius created the technology to suck the life force right out of our poor helpless male sex toy. Then I noticed that the photo came from the desk of Kyle Machulis and realized that something very different was obviously going on.

Kyle, the not so evil genius behind Slashdong, and my personal teledildonics guru, recently got behind the wheel of what sounds like a great new product, the Interactive Fleshlight, and took it for a test drive. Only, it’s more of a test-poke than drive…and in the end it sounded like the ride was a little rough (apparently involving some unexpected hand cramps). Some highlights from his post:

…you have to sit there hitting the "hand presents" or "take medicine" button for 10 minutes. Then she takes off her shirt. Then you have to fondle her by clicking for at least 15 minutes. Notice the problems here?

All you can do with the fleshlight is move the mouse. You can't click shit. So, you've gotta spend ~20 minutes doing things with your regular mouse before you can do anything with the fleshlight. And you sure as shit ain't gonna have both the mouse and the fleshlight going at once, unless you want to know what it's like to have your penis actively fighting your hand.

Ok, due to popular demand, I actually included pictures of the action scenes. And yes, it really took me about 10-15 minutes to get to this point. My hand hurts. And not in the fun way.

Despite Kyle’s less than stellar review I was curious enough to visit the Interactive Fleshlight website and noticed the company offers a variety of presumably crappy and clearly problematic games to play with your IF. There’s the nurse game that Kyle tested out, but there are other titles including, Yung Jee the Chinese Spy, Julie the Lovely Bride and Cassie the Maid. Don’t ask me why the maid doesn’t get an adjective, I'm sure its the least of her worries. And don’t ask me if I’m going to give the IF a try myself. Thankfully, there are braver people out there like Kyle to do the dirty work for us. Come to think of it, Kyle could be an excellent candidate for an episode of Dirty Jobs.

Read more – Slashdong: Too Much Information about the Interactive Fleshlight (via Io9)

_{Image courtesy of qdot.}