1. People & Relationships
You can opt-out at any time. Please refer to our privacy policy for contact information.

9 Weeks to Better Sex

Week 3: It’s Time To Talk


This series of lessons is designed for people in relationships who are having sex but want to change or develop their sex lives in some new way. Each lesson includes a little bit of sex education, suggestions of activities to try out during the week, and an opportunity to let you reflect on your experience of what it’s like to try and change your sex life. This course is not meant as a substitute for working through things with your partner, nor is it a substitute for sex therapy or counseling.

I recommend starting the course from the beginning, or signing up to receive these lessons automatically each week as a 9 Weeks to Better Sex online course.

For Better Sex, You Better Talk
Sexual communication is essential for good sex. If you’re trying to have even better sex, chances are that talking about it is going to be necessary at some point. But remember that verbal communication is only one way we communicate, and good sexual communication has to work for everyone involved.

This week’s lesson is about improving your sexual communication so you can work together to explore the better sex you seek.

Section 1 - Erotic Education

Why Is It So Hard to Talk About Sex?
How come you and your partner can talk about every aspect of your lives together other than sex? And why is it that even when you do talk about sex, it's so hard to talk about the things you really want to talk about?

How To Talk About Sex, Cleanly
Talking about sex can get messy (in both good and bad ways). There are a few simple things you can do to keep the dirty talk a little bit cleaner (emotionally speaking).

Section 2 - Getting Your Hands Dirty

Everyday Talking About Sex
Sometimes what we need is a real kick in the conversational pants to get us talking about our sexual dreams and desires. This exercise offers a two-step kick start to your sexual conversations.

Suggest a New Sexual Activity
You may already have an idea of what better sex could look like for you, but if you're not comfortable asking your partner for something different, different is hard to achieve. This how-to guide offers tips for suggesting a new sexual activity to your partner.

Fixing the Broken Lines of Communication
Many of our sexual problems in relationships are due to a breakdown in sexual communication. It may be that you aren't talking enough, or your talking too much, or that your both talking but one or neither of you are listening or understanding. This exercise is designed to help you fix the frustrating game of broken telephone you may be playing in your relationship.

Section 3 - Better Sex Journal

It's Time To Talk
Creating a better sex life requires not only sexual action but sexual reflection. Use these ideas and questions to guide you in reflecting on lesson two. You can either keep an actual journal or if privacy or access is a barrier, just think about the questions and answer them in your head.

Related Video
Better Toothbrushing Habits for your Kids
Get a Better Walking Workout by Avoiding these Pitfalls
  1. About.com
  2. People & Relationships
  3. Sexuality

©2014 About.com. All rights reserved.