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9 Weeks to Better Sex

Week 5: Sex Is More Than…


This series of lessons is designed for people in relationships who are having sex but want to change or develop their sex lives in some new way. Each lesson includes a little bit of sex education, suggestions of activities to try out during the week, and an opportunity to let you reflect on your experience of what it’s like to try and change your sex life. This course is not meant as a substitute for working through things with your partner, nor is it a substitute for sex therapy or counseling.

I recommend starting the course from the beginning, or signing up to receive these lessons automatically each week as a 9 Weeks to Better Sex online course.

Getting Creative with Better Sex
Better sex does not mean that you have to engage in 33 different kinds of sex in 102 different sex positions. Variety can be nice, but only if it’s something you both want, not if it feels like an obligation.

For many people the barrier to better sex is imagination. If you think “real sex” must involve intercourse, or genitals, or even orgasms, you may benefit from a little eye opening to see if there might be more out there for you.

For the next two weeks the articles and exercises are all about different ways to have sex. Remember that you needn’t feel like you have to try these things, or that doing so will guarantee great sex.

As with everything else in this course, the idea is to think about what is being presented and if it feels right, to see how it might fit in your sex life and whether it can be a part of the better sex you want.

Section 1 - Erotic Education

Sex Without Intercourse
There are sexual universes beyond intercourse. But before you can explore them you have to make a mental switch away from the idea that everything other than intercourse is foreplay and start thinking of intercourse as just one of the many fun things you can do with other people naked.

Sex Toys 101
As their name implies sex toys are great because they are toys, but for grown ups. Sex toys won't replace a partner's touch, but they can bring a humor and hotness to your sex play that a lot of couples enjoy. Learn the basics of what sex toys are (and get how to tips below).

Oral Sex
Some people consider oral sex to be more intimate than intercourse, while others see it as nothing more than a prelude. Either way, considering the number of people who rank it as their favorite thing to receive, most of us haven't spent enough time learning about how giving can become a pleasurable experience too.

Anal Play 101
Anal play includes much more than anal sex. The whole area is a potential source of immense physical pleasure and anal play also opens up the opportunity for a lot of emotional intimacy. Before you dive in, read up a bit on the basics of safe anal play.

Section 2 - Getting Your Hands Dirty

Sexual Touch How To
Being touched by a partner when they have no end goal in mind is a completely different experience from "foreplay" that leads to intercourse. Learn to touch your partner in a way that leaves the door open for anything to happen next.

How to Use Sex Toys
You'd think being a multimillion dollar industry sex toy manufacturers would include instructions or at least a few tips with their products. But you'd be wrong. Of course there isn't a "right" way to use sex toys, but here are some tips on where to start.

How to Dirty Talk
It's the rare person who is naturally comfortable talking dirty to the one they love. Most of us have been raised in such a way that we're embarrassed by our raw desires, and embarrassed using "sex" words. Learn how to overcome your shyness and embrace the sexy orator that is in each of us.

How to Have Anal Sex
More than other kinds of sex, anal sex requires a slow hand (or other body parts), good communication, and the right technique. Get all three here.

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