On the About.com sexuality site, we cover sex and sexuality, in all its varied, complicated, and exciting forms. People want to know more about sex for all sorts of reasons:
- Learning more about your sexual bodies
- Tips on exploring sexual pleasure
- Understanding sexual diseases and dysfunctions
- Ideas on spicing up long-term relationships
- Support in expressing what feels right with a new partner
Whether you’re looking to learn more on your own or with multiple partners, taking the first step in a new sexual direction can be daunting.
Here are a few important pieces of information, as well as ideas to consider as you move through whatever sort of sexual exploration you’re considering.
Different Kinds of Sex Information
Most information on the sexuality site can be broken down into a few kinds of information:
- Sexual anatomy: the parts of our body that are involved in sexuality
- Sexual response: the ways our body responds to all kinds of sexual stimulation
- Sexual thoughts: from anxieties to fantasies to trauma, our sexual thoughts have a huge impact on our sexuality
- Sexual feelings: the slipperiest part of any equation is our emotional and intuitive responses to sexuality. While not always logical or predictable, these are our responses. We need to understand and, in some way, honor them (which isn’t the same as always letting them guide our decision-making)
You can find a lot more definitions of sexual terms in the Glossary .
We’re All Sexually Different
The problem with generalizing sexuality (which happens on this site, and pretty much everywhere else) is that we’re all different. Take our bodies for example. I might talk about a “typical” sexual response, or how a body part like the nipples might respond. In reality, everyone’s body is different. True, most of us have two eyes, two ears, a nose, etc. But some of us don't, and some of us have two eyes, but can only see out of one of them. Some of us have big noses, and some have little noses. Some of us have taken the body we were born with and changed it, either intentionally or unintentionally.
But when someone with specific knowledge (like a sexual health educator) starts describing our sexual bodies, most of us begin to compare ourselves to what we are being told. This is a terrible mistake. The amazing thing about sex and people is that we’re all unique. Our sexual feelings, interests, desires, and body parts are all different, which is one of the things that makes sexual discovery interesting.
Avoid Sexual Comparisons
In North America, we put a premium on looking a certain way, and feeling like our bodies fit a certain image. This may be the worst waste of time and energy in our society (except for computer solitaire, which is probably a worse waste of time). Information on sexuality.about.com is meant only as a guide. You should read this and then compare it to how you feel. If it does not apply, then ignore it. If you can use some of the information, that is great. Try to avoid using this information to make yourself feel bad because what your body is like does not match the pictures on this site.Become Your Own Sex Expert
It is an old but true cliché that you have the ability to know more about your body than anyone else. You can be your own best expert. As you seek out information, help and support for expanding your sexuality, the goal should always be to know yourself more and better. But make sure that it is on your own terms.
Hundreds -- probably thousands -- of people call themselves “sex experts” and are waiting to tell you the right way to have sex, to be sexy, even to think about sex. There may be something to learn from what some of these people say, but be wary of the experts who claim to have answers for you. Exploring sexuality is a lifelong process, and finding answers that have meaning for you can only happen when you are fully engaged in asking the questions and seeking the answers. There are few quick solutions and short cuts, and it’s not the kind of club where you can use someone else’s membership to get inside.
Explore More!
Explore Female Sexual Anatomy
Explore Male Sexual Anatomy
Explore Safer Sex
Explore Contraception
Explore Sex Toys
Explore Sexual Communication
Explore Erotic Movies
