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Better Sex Journal - Orgasms

Journaling 9 Weeks to Better Sex


Creating a better sex life requires not only sexual action but sexual reflection. Use the ideas and questions below to guide you in reflecting on lesson four of the online course 9 Weeks to Better Sex.

This exercise asks you to reflect privately on your thoughts, expectations, and experience of orgasms. As you think about the questions below, don’t worry about whether or not you’re going to share this with your partner. If you can each complete the exercise and then share your answers that would be great, but it’s not necessary for the exercise to be valuable.

There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. They are meant to start you thinking only, not to evaluate your thoughts or feelings.


  1. Do you remember the first time you had an orgasm? Was it intentional? Did you know what was happening?

  2. How many times have you faked an orgasm? How many times do you think a partner has faked an orgasm?

  3. In the articles this week, you read about some definitions of different kinds of orgasms. How many different kinds of orgasms can you recall having? How would you distinguish different orgasms you’ve had?

  4. If you do like orgasms, why? What makes orgasms so great?

  5. When you think about better sex, how much does orgasm have to do with what you imagine? Do you want more orgasms or different orgasms? And if you want different orgasms, what do you want them to be like?

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