While some will argue about the specifics, broadly speaking, sexual behaviors can be defined as all those things we “do” that we consider sexual. Those might be things we do with others, like kissing, erotic touch, intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, and manual sexual stimulation. They might be sexual things we do when we’re alone, like masturbation.
It can be helpful to distinguish these sexual behaviors (or what we do) from sexual orientation (who we do them with) or sexual identity (how we describe ourselves). In our society, many stereotypes and social expectations exist about the kinds of sexual behaviors people do based on how they identify themselves, or who they like to have sex with. So it’s assumed that all heterosexual couples all have penile-vaginal intercourse and that gay men have anal sex. Neither of these is true in all cases. Some gay men aren’t interested in anal sex, and some straight couples engage in male anal penetration and some in female anal penetration, and some in both.
This doesn’t mean that sexual behaviors aren’t influenced by orientation or identity. They just aren’t determined by it. Sexual behaviors can also be influenced by social expectations (what “good girls” are supposed to be like or how “bad boys” are expected to act).
From a sexual health perspective, what is most important is that a) you are engaging in sexual behaviors by choice with people who are also choosing you and the sexual behavior at hand; and b) whatever sexual behaviors you are doing, you know how to do them in a way that reduces any negative health consequences. Aside from that, nothing is wrong, and possibly many things are right, about ignoring expectations and following your desires.
