Female ejaculation is the g-spot's kissing cousin when it comes to "is it real or is it fake" medical debates.
In one corner are the legions of doctors, who when asked, maintain that there is no way a woman can ejaculate. They point out that in their textbooks, and anatomy classes there are simply no structures to provide for this physiological experience. They say that if anything is happening, it's urination.
In the other corner there are arguably larger legions of women, women's health practitioners (including doctors), sex activists, a few scientists, and thousands or tens of thousands of women who say that it does exist.
There are no standards or rules for this. Some women are worried that they have incontinence and that they are peeing during sex, or specifically during orgasm. Some women have always been "very very wet" during arousal and climax, and like the way they respond. Because of the increased attention paid in the popular media to female ejaculation there are many women who want to know more, and are interested in trying to ejaculate.
The bottom line, as with all matters of sexual response and behavior is to avoid any sort of pressure to do something or experience something that doesn't feel right for you. If you do something that you think is ejaculating, and your happy with it, that's great. If you're concerned that you are "too wet" during sex, you should know that there is a very natural variation in the amount of vaginal lubrication that women produce, and getting wet is probably just a sign of healthy arousal. You can always have a towel handy if it's a real concern for you. And if you're interested in learning more about female ejaculation then you should go for it. Just try and avoid the pitfalls of performance pressure, and thinking that ejaculation is some magic bullet that will transform your sex life from humdrum to super fantastic. Of course it might do that, but counting on it is a sure way to miss important learning and experience along the way.
Here are a few tips gleaned from the experts:
- Empty your bladder first. The feeling just before ejaculating is similar to the feeling you have when you have to pee, but you want the urge to come on as a result of arousal and not a full bladder.
- Practice in a comfortable place. Many writers suggest that one of the reasons women don't ejaculate is that they hold back when the feel the urge to "release". To deal with this worry, you can try to practice in the bath or while sitting on the toilet. The idea is to lose your fear around the possibility that you might pee. (This seems as good a time as any to point out that peeing is not the end of the world, and many women who experience incontinence deal with this all the time. In the face of hot sex and a great orgasm, a little urine shouldn't get in the way!)
- Most people say that ejaculation will come on as a result of stimulating the paraurethral glands and/or the g-spot (urethral sponge).
- Stimulating the g-spot for any length of time will be easiest to do with a dildo or vibrator. Any toy that is firm, or one that is curved for g-spot stimulation will do.
- Use a lot of clitoral stimulation, but also stimulate your urethra by massaging inside the top of your vagina both around the opening and inside a few inches. Many women find urethral stimulation very pleasant in and of itself.
- Keeping up the clitoral stimulation you may also want to try and stimulate the g-spot . Some women like g-spot stimulation, others find it too sensitive, or don't feel much at all from this type of stimulation.
- Vary the strokes and the pressure and experiment with what feels good.
- As you are doing this you may feel the urge to pee (along with feeling very turned on). This is the experience many women say happens just prior to ejaculating. At this point most of the instruction manuals resort to phrases like "go with the flow" and "just let it out". It's hard to provide specific instruction on how to "go with the flow". The best I can offer is to follow the above guidelines and experiment on your own. Make sure you have fun doing it, and that every time you try, you give yourself a wonderful orgasm whether you ejaculate or not. If you want to know more there are several books and videos devoted to the subject worth checking out.
