Sexual Risk: Taking risks is a big part of sexual development, and it doesn’t necessarily end when we stop being teenagers.
- What are some examples of risks you’ve taken sexually? Do you feel like you understood the risks?
- Has taking a sexually risk ever resulted in acquiring a sexually transmitted disease? An unwanted pregnancy? Sexual violence?
- Are there different kinds of sexual risks you would like to take in the future?
Sexual Identities: How you describe your sexual self to others, including who you prefer to be with in sexual and intimate relationships, can also change over time. Or, again, maybe it won’t.
Gender Identities: How we experience ourselves and our partners as masculine, feminine, or something else has a huge and often unacknowledged impact on our sexuality and sex lives.
- What sorts of gender labels do you remember hearing as a child? Tomboy, sissy, good little girl or boy, etc…? Do you remember what people said about you?
- Can you remember a time when you felt like the way you were labeled masculine or feminine didn’t fit the way you felt?
- Make a list of all the characteristics of yourself you feel are masculine and all the ones you feel are feminine.
Sexual Losses and Regrets: There are many different kinds of losses worth writing down; partners who are no longer in our lives, sexual behaviors we can’t do anymore, opportunities that are gone or we let pass by without noticing, and more.
- What have been some of your biggest sexual losses in your life?
- Do you have any sexual regrets and do you think they impact your current sexuality and sex life?
- Are there things that were part of your sexuality and sex life in the past that you’d like to get back?
Major Sexual Changes
- Thinking about your entire life, what are some of the biggest changes you’re aware of in your sexuality and sex life?
- Who or what instigated those changes?
- Are there major changes that you predict will be coming in the future?
Birth Control
- What are your first memories about birth control? Did you find someone’s contraception in a drawer? Did you know what it was?
- How would you describe your own use of birth control over the years?
- How much of an influence do you think using and worrying about birth control has had on your sexuality and sex life?
Sexual Pain: Many people experience pain during sex, and whether it’s temporary or permanent, talking about it one important part of living with it.
- Have you ever experienced pain during sex and kept it a secret? Describe it.
- How much is pain a part of your sex life? How often does it get in the way of you enjoying sex?
- If you haven’t discussed sexual pain with a partner or a health care provider, what do you think you’d need before you felt like you could?
Your Sexual Body
- Have you noticed any differences in your body as you’ve gotten older that impact your sex life?
- What are some of your favorite parts of your body? Has this changed over time?
- If your body could tell a story about one sexual encounter you had, which would it be, and how would the story go?
Your Sexual Feelings
- How have your feelings about your sexuality and sex life changed over time?
- Describe one of your most emotional sexual experiences.
- What are the sexual feelings you find easiest to express? Which ones are most difficult?
Your Sexual Spirit
- What message were you raised with in regards to spirituality?
- Describe any experience you’ve had that you would say combined sexuality or having sex with spirituality.
- How would you describe your sexual spirit?
