Many of us tend to compartmentalize our sexual selves. We not only remove sex from the rest of our identity (so sex becomes merely a thing we do, not all the things we are) but we also draw artificial boundaries around our sexual desires. We deny long held sexual fantasies, we act in certain ways because it is what we think is expected of us based on our gender, or our age.
But sexuality is who we are, and no matter how hard we try to deny sexual aspects of ourselves we might consider embarrassing or unseemly, sexuality is one of the life forces that touches all aspects of who we are; our mind, our body and our spirit.
Take some time over this week and next and pay attention to the ways that your sexual mind, sexual body, and sexual spirit, act in harmony, and how tapping into those connections can open up new sexual possibilities. It’s not as flakey as it sounds!
Maybe you’ll notice the way that you feel walking down the street on a good day, when you’re happy in your body and feeling sexy. Pay attention to the way people interact with you when you’re feeling this way.
Maybe you’ll experiment with breathing techniques when you’re masturbating and notice how the moment just before you orgasm can feel spiritual sometimes, and just plain dirty other times.
Maybe you will try to vocalize more when you’re having sex with a partner, whether that means actually talking and describing what you are feeling, or allowing your body to make uncensored sounds that can also express what is going on for you in the moment.
Maybe you’ll pay more attention to the subtle ways that sex comes up in family discussions. Does it get joked about? Is it never spoken about? Are there family members you’ve never talked to about sex? Maybe you’ll take a chance and talk to them this year about something that feels comfortable to bring up.
Maybe you will pay more attention to the way people look at you when you’re outside in public, and the way you do, or don’t, look back at them. A casual glance can be a sexual encounter, and .
Maybe you’ll pay extra attention to how your body feels when you’re listening to your favorite music, and notice that the simple act of listening to a song can be a sexual experience.
There is no one way to do this, but turning your attention inward, and giving yourself permission to think about anything (or everything) as sexual, can open your mind up to the connections that are ever present in us between our physical, psychological, and spiritual experience of sexuality.