Worried About Too Much Masturbation

The topic of over masturbation, what sometimes gets called chronic masturbation, can be a confusing one. While there is a lot of sex talk in our culture, masturbation is usually left out of the conversation. As a result we don’t learn very much about masturbation, and as teens and adults those of us who enjoy masturbating may wonder if we are over masturbating or how much masturbation is "normal" and healthy.

What Is Over Masturbation?

First things first. The vast majority of masturbation is completely healthy and positive. There is no data for this, but most sex educators and therapists (people who talk to lots of people about their sex lives) would agree that anything approximating "over masturbation" is rare. There is no amount of masturbation that is healthy or unhealthy. Masturbation isn’t like candy or eggs, there isn’t a "recommended daily allowance", it means different things to different people, and we all use masturbation differently, in positive and negative ways. So this question needs to be answered on an individual basis, keeping in mind that very few of us actually masturbate in ways that are harmful to ourselves or others.

Having said that, there are people whose masturbation is causing them distress and even pain (physical, emotional, psychological), and for those people it may make sense to talk with someone and sort our whether they are masturbating too much or whether they can adjust their feelings about masturbation to allow them to enjoy it more.

And aside from individual experience with masturbation it should be noted that some people believe that masturbation itself if harmful as it is a form of sexual expression that doesn't rely on a partner. Many so-called sex addiction professionals believe that stopping or at least reducing masturbation is an important part of their treatment plans. These claims, of course, remain highly debatable.

Is It All or Nothing? If I Over Masturbate Do I Have to Stop Altogether?

No credible health care professional who is working in your best interest would ever tell you to stop masturbating forever. A healthy sexual life includes masturbation across the lifespan, and stopping for a week or two doesn’t mean you have to stop forever. If you feel like your masturbation is a problem you may want to take a break for a while and take some time to think about what is going on for you. But you should never feel like taking a break means dropping masturbation from your sexual repertoire permanently. If someone tells you that masturbating is wrong or you need to stop it, they are probably doing so in their own interests, not yours.

The Difference Between Feeling Guilty About Masturbating Too Much and Actually Masturbating Too Much

Many of us are raised with negative messages about our bodies, sex, and specifically masturbation. We can respond by feeling guilt and sexual shame when we masturbate. The result is that masturbation comes with negative feelings and/or distress. But is it the sexual activity that is causing the distress, or the unrealistic expectation that you won't do it? Masturbation can be very healthy and guilt is not a required part of it. Guilt is a predictable response to being told bad things about masturbation. The solution in this case is not to stop masturbating (although you might chose to take a break while working things out), the solution is to deal with your feelings of guilt, to recognize them as unnecessary, and to work towards feeling good about your ability to give yourself pleasure and knowing that masturbation is a part of sexual health.