If you’ve already acquainted yourself with the basics of
how to perform cunnilingus and are looking for some advanced tips you may find new ideas below. Remember that great cunnilingus isn’t about sticking to one technique: It’s about having a spirit of adventure and desire, and an ability to listen to what your partner is telling you, verbally and non verbally.
The ABCs of Cunnilingus
This is a trick that gets mentioned a lot. The idea is that you use your tongue to "spell" out the alphabet, starting with A and ending with Z, on your partner's vulva and clitoris. It has its drawbacks, especially if you're so focused on keeping track of what letter you're on that you stop enjoying yourself or paying attention to anything else. But it is a great technique to get your tongue moving in new ways. And in the process, you and your partner may find a letter or two that stand out and call to be repeated.Eye Contact
As important as any technique, maintaining a connection with your partner during cunnilingus can turn the heat way up. It's not about staring your partner down (or in most scenarios, being stared down at). Instead, make eye contact now and then. Use the contact both as an opportunity to let your partner show you how much they like what's happening but also to say something with your eyes. Keep in mind that desire on a face is obvious. So if you aren't into what you're doing, they'll know.Let Them Move
Often partner's receiving cunnilingus who aren't comfortable giving verbal instruction will move their bodies so your tongue is on the right spot. Pay attention to how your partner is moving their body and hips and don’t assume its random writhing (although it may be that too). If you think you’re partner is hesitant to offer instruction, you can also prep them before by saying, "I'd like you to tell me what works and doesn't, or show me if you don’t want to say it."Shape of the Tongue
As kids, we're often fascinated by our tongues and our ability to contort them into all sorts of shapes and configurations. As adults, we may forget all the ways our tongue can feel depending on the shapes we make. A tongue that's wide and flat feels different than one curled up, or rolled into a tube. The side edge of your tongue feels different than the tip which feels different than the flat part in the middle. Play with different shapes and be attentive to your partner to see what he likes and doesn’t like.About Face
A basic tip is to use other parts of your body to touch other parts of your partner's body during oral sex. But you can use other parts of your body on your partner's genitals as well. Your nose, your cheeks and your chin all create different sensations and pressures when brushed against or rhythmically rubbing along the vulva and clitoris. Some people get really turned on by knowing that their partner is fully engaged in what they’re doing. So, using your whole face demonstrates that kind of commitment.Penetration
This is one of those "definitely not for everyone" techniques, but some people really love the feeling of their partner's tongue penetrating them. Obviously even with the longest tongue, tongue penetration only goes so deep. But for some folks, it's a technique that at the right moment and for a limited time period, feels intense and wonderful. As always, every person is different. But many women say a fast in-out motion isn't as good as a slow undulating and unfolding kind of penetration.Humming and Moaning
If you're performing oral sex on a woman, the noises you make can also add to the experience. If you’re feeling turned on, moaning lets your partner know and they may be able to relax even more into the experience knowing your right there with them and not just doing something out of obligation. But beyond that, when you moan, or even hum a tune, the vibrations on your lips and your out breath creates a sensation that can be felt by your partner. Whistling isn't recommended, but you can experiment with different pitches of moaning and notice how a long, low, guttural moan feels different than faster, higher pitched noises.Suction
You can create lots of sensations when you bring your tongue, lips, and entire mouth into the equation. After you've got your partner warmed up, playing with suction can be another way to intensify the experience. You can take labia or even the clitoris into your mouth and gently create a sucking sensation. Some people will like a powerful sucking and others may just want a hint of it. With a part of your partner in your mouth, you can add sensation by moving your tongue inside your mouth.Ice Cubes
Ice cubes are a fun way to play with temperature during cunnilingus. Be aware that if you hold an ice cube on any part of the body for a while, it will create a temporary numbness. So if the goal is to increase sensation and sensitivity, you want to keep the ice moving. Having a glass with some ice cubes nearby but out of sight, and then slipping one in your mouth at some point to use during oral sex can be surprising and exciting (just be careful about how you introduce it, you want them surprised and aroused, not surprised and turned off). If you can do it comfortably, try having an ice cube in your mouth and alternating between having it touch your partner while you’re using your mouth and then hiding it in your cheek.Sex Toys
A few sex toys on the market are designed for use during oral sex and that are worn on the tongue. These toys have many potential pit falls but some people really enjoy them. Just as good, having a
small vibrator for external stimulation that you can move around while giving oral sex, or a
dildo that you can use for penetration are both popular additions that many women enjoy.
Embrace the Power
Inherent in cunnilingus is an exchange of power. On the one hand, the person receiving oral sex is being attended to, focused on, and showered with love (or at least lust). On the other hand, he is also making himself vulnerable to the touch of a partner. If you're interested in exploring the power dynamic in sex either explicitly through
sexual fantasy role play, or less obviously through opening yourself up to private thoughts and feelings, oral sex is a great place to experiment. This might include so-called
dirty talk and specific kinds of touch (such as grabbing, slapping, or spanking). Or it might be something you start doing on your own, letting your mind wander briefly to a fantasy while you’re playing.
