The process of learning to have multiple orgasms for men is partly a matter of unlearning beliefs about orgasms
and sexual response
. Because sexual response and orgasm tend to come easily for men, they rarely explore other options (sort of a "if it ain’t broke don’t fix it" model). But there are plenty of reasons to check out what’s under the hood, even if the engine is just fine. The key is to understand that orgasm and ejaculation are two separate experiences for men.
Time Required: Learning to be a multi-orgasmic man takes time and practice over many sessions.
- Breathing and male multiple orgasms.
If you haven’t already learned about using breathing to expand sexual awareness, you may want to brush up on the importance of breathing for sexual exploration. For the exercises below you should be breathing deeply and focus on how your breathing changes as you go through sexual response, get turned on, build your sexual excitement, and experience climax, orgasm, and ejaculation.
- Your PC muscle and male multiple orgasms.
Your PC muscle is what you use to stop the flow of urine when you pee. Your PC muscle is also involved in the experience of orgasm, and learning to consciously use it helps in developing multi-orgasmic capacity. Start by finding your PC muscle, and make sure you know what it feels like to squeeze and release it. One way to do this is to learn about kegel exercises which involve squeezing and releasing your muscles.
- Notice your "point of no return".
This is the moment during sexual excitement after which ejaculation is inevitable. The best way to identify this is to masturbate and pay close attention just as you are about to ejaculate. Just prior to ejaculating you may notice a tingling feeling, which is the sign that you are about to hit your point of no return. Knowing what this feels like will help you know when to pull back from an orgasm. Identifying this point is also important in learning to control ejaculation.
- Before you learn something new, take some time to understand your baseline.
The work here is simple and fun: pleasure yourself (masturbate) as you would regularly, and pay close attention.
- What things do you do to get turned on?
- What happens to your body and your breathing as you become even more stimulated?
- What does it feel like just before an orgasm? Just before you ejaculate?
- What happens to your body after orgasm?
- Practice when alone, and when you have time to focus.
Learning to distinguish your orgasm from ejaculation takes time and a keen attention. Don’t do these exercises when you have to rush off to work, or make dinner for your family. I would also recommend doing these exercises alone at first. If you have someone else there, part of your attention will be on them.
- Relax and tune into your body.
This process is all about awareness. As you begin the exercise get relaxed, you may want to get naked also, and try to tune into how your body feels in the moment. Run your hands up and down your body, and really feel your body. You can touch your genitals and any other part of your body that turns you on, but don’t start masturbating right away.
- Masturbate slowly, paying attention to changes in your body.
Now you can masturbate however you like to, but pay attention to the energy in your body.
Don’t bring yourself to orgasm or ejaculate yet.
- Are some parts of your body much warmer than others?
- Does the warm energy move up (or down) your body, or stay in one place?
- As you get closer to a climax how does the energy in your body change?
- Start and stop your stimulation, play with the point of no return.
If you feel yourself reaching the point of no return stop the stimulation and take some deep breaths. Once you’ve pulled back from the point you can begin to stimulate yourself again. Do this at least twice. Do this to get a more detailed sense of what your point of no return is like, and discover how you can control when you cross that point.
- Use your PC muscle to pull back from the point of no return.
As you feel yourself coming closer to climax stop the stimulation as you have in the past, but this time squeeze your PC muscle and hold it for a few seconds. Notice how this feels. This is the technique you can use to prevent yourself from ejaculating and create the opportunity to have several orgasms in a row.
- Use your breath to increase the orgasmic energy flow.
Having multiple orgasms is not just about using your PC muscle, it’s also about allowing the energy that usually flows out of you at the point of orgasm, to flow elsewhere in your body. When you’re nearing the point of orgasm, notice the build up of energy (sometimes this feels like heat) in the lower part of your body, and begin to do deep breathing while visualizing the energy moving up towards your chest and head.
- Let yourself go, see where it takes you.
The final stage of this exercise is to let yourself have an orgasm, while using the techniques learned above including breath, awareness, and squeezing your PC muscle. The first time you try this, let yourself orgasm, but squeeze your PC muscle just as you feel yourself going "over the top". It might not work the first time, but the worst that happens is that you’ve had an orgasm and you have to try again.
- Use your breath, PC muscle, and awareness to orgasm without ejaculating. As you practice the last step above, you may find that you can get to the point of no return, pass it, and experience a tingly orgasm without ejaculating. Don’t expect the orgasm to feel the same as an orgasm you have with ejaculating. Non-ejaculatory orgasms feel different, but they can be very pleasurable.
- The above steps are a very brief version of techniques that men have practiced for thousands of years. If you are interested in more detailed exercises and information, check out The Multi-Orgasmic Man and The Multi-Orgasmic Couple.
- Male multiple orgasms are associated with elements of spiritual sexuality. Certainly doing this work involves playing with your body’s energy. If the spiritual part isn’t for you, don’t feel pressured to follow it. Based on your brain alone, your body is an amazing thing capable of experience intense and infinite pleasure. If you prefer to see this as a science experiment go for it!
- The above instructions were written for men to practice alone. But these exercises can be easily adapted for using with partners (and are great for anyone who has sex with men to know about).
- For more information on Mantak Chia, the author of The Multi-Orgasmic Male, visit his organization, Universal Tao.