Lessons about sex can happen anytime, anywhere and with anyone. Friends talking in the playground, family talking around the dinner table, a bizarre website you stumble across – all of these can be sex education moments. But that doesn’t mean what you’re learning is accurate, or that it will be helpful to you. For that, you need to make sure you’re getting good sex education. Whether you’re sixteen or ninety-six, you’re bound to have some questions and some concerns about sex, and you deserve to get answers that will help you. Which raises an important question; what makes for good sex education?
Good Sex Education Is Accurate and Up to Date:
Very little about human sexuality is fixed or fully understood. From the science of sexually transmitted infections to reproduction to gender identity to fetishes, sex researchers are forever digging deeper and learning more about how humans have sex, why we do it, and what it means to us.
Good sex education draws from the latest scientific knowledge about sexuality and sexual health. Information should not be conveyed based solely on values, moral, or political positions. There is room to discuss these things, but the concrete information about how our bodies work, and the social and psychological aspects of sexuality should be grounded in sex research that tries to understand human sexual experience.
Good sex education will also include information to help people understand the limits of most sex research, including the ways that some of us are systematically excluded from research, and how that leads to an erasure of some people's experiences of sexuality.
Education and Information Is Contextualized:
The World Health Organization refers to sexuality as an intrinsic part of human experience, not something that can be separated out of the rest of our lives. Good sex education approaches sexuality in context. It may not cover everything but it doesn’t segregate sex and treat sexuality as a completely separate phenomenon from the rest of our experience. Good sex education acknowledges that no part of sex exists in complete isolation, and that understanding sex and sexuality requires us to think about the individual, community, society, and the world as a whole.
Teaching to Us Where We Are At:
Sex education isn’t just for adolescents or teenagers, we all need sex education throughout our lives. Good sex education takes our age and experience into account. For example, an adult interested in exploring sex fantasy role play may want to seek out sex education about sexual fantasies and role play. But including “how to dress up like Tarzan” in a class for adolescents doesn’t make a lot of sense. Good sex education starts with the question "who are we trying to educate" and everything follows from there.
Sex education is a lifelong process, and good sex education doesn’t try to push people forward where they aren’t ready to go, or force people to slow down when they’re itching to learn more. Good sex education matches the needs of the person or group that it’s designed for, and it respects where you’re at in terms of using language or disclosing personal information. If you’re feeling like someone is putting you in a box to suit their needs, you’re not getting good sex education.
Good Sex Education Is Accessible:
Good sex education will be developed and delivered in a way that can be understood by the people it is geared for. Being accessible might refer to physical accessibility; materials are in places where people can actually get at them, it might refer to language; materials are written or delivered in a language that isn't above the heads of the audience it's intended for. Being accessible also means creating material that is inclusive, so that people in the audience are able to in some way see themselves in the material being presented.
Acknowledges Individuality and Individual Learning Needs:
Sexuality is subjective, and good sex education acknowledges diversity of sexual expression and experience. It also takes into account the fact that we don’t all learn the same way and that depending on our cultural and religious backgrounds we may hold different beliefs about sexuality and gender, but that everyone can benefit from learning more about the sexual experiences and identities of others.
Anti-Racist, Anti-Ableist, and Non-Discriminatory:
While good sex education will celebrate diversity of experience and opinion, it must protect individuals’ rights to be free from discrimination. To do this good sex education should be actively engaged in challenging racism, ableism, and other systemic forms of discrimination that intersect with sexual expression. This does not mean that good sex education forces you to change your fundamental beliefs (although often good sex education leads to that). Rather it require you to think beyond your own beliefs and learn to communicate with others in a respectful way about sexual matters.
It's Engaging:
The best sex education draws from the people it is geared to. It pulls you in and makes you part of the lesson. Good sex education should feel like a group of people working together, not one person preaching a gospel. Also, good sex education won’t make sex so clinical as to be boring. It will acknowledge that sexuality can be joyful and learning about it can be fun.
Challenges Commercial Influences:
Even when you are paying for sex education, good sex education will not be tied to selling a particular product. Good sex education puts people first and if it is being supported by commercial interests (whether it’s a huge pharmaceutical company or an independent sex shop) good sex educators will point out any conflict of interest or bias up front. Sex information that is given to get you to buy a book, video, or sex toy is always part sales pitch, and good sex education is transparent about the intentions of the people who provide it.
