If you’ve been injured during combat, you may find that there are things your body used to do sexually that are different after your treatment and rehabilitation. These changes can be related to physical injury, the psychological effects of combat, or medication for pain, anxiety (PTSD), depression, or physical health conditions. Changes in how your sexual body works also can result from an accumulation of all the stress and chaos many people experience after returning home from combat. Also, if you have started to abuse alcohol and/or other drugs they can have predictable negative impacts on your sexual function.
Some changes you experience with sexual functioning may include:
- what kinds of erections men have and the amount of vaginal lubrication women produce
- ejaculation (it may happen faster, take longer, or not happen at all)
- your ability to experience orgasm and what the orgasm feels like
There are other changes that are primarily psychological but have physical elements related to sexual response, which include:
- changes in desire to have sex (with yourself and/or with your partner) which often decrease but in some cases can increase
- changes in what gets you excited and what that arousal feels like
Dealing with Changes in Sexual Functioning and Response
Our society focuses almost entirely on the “functioning” aspects of sex, particularly erections and orgasms. But these two parts of sex represent only a fraction of what sex can be. It’s true that your body might not work exactly as it did before your injury or psychological condition, but many people who have acquired disabilities and who write about sex say that their sex lives actually got better once they opened up to the endless possibilities of sex; that their disability has given them a more versatile and creative sex life.
If you haven’t already talked to your primary care provider about the sexual changes in your body that you’ve noticed, he or she is the best place to start. They will probably refer you to specialists who can assess how your body is responding to sexual stimulation and what sorts of treatment might help.
It’s also good to get a referral to a psychologist or social worker who is comfortable talking about sex. Few things that have to do with our sexuality are 100% physical or 100% mental, so it’s important to explore other causes of your change in sexual functioning. Physicians may prescribe drugs to improve your sexual functioning, but if there are underlying reasons why sex isn’t working for you, you’ll need to eventually address those as well.
If you’re avoiding having sex with a partner because you know you aren’t functioning sexually the way you want, it’s also important to consider letting them in on what’s happening. They may be thinking that you just don’t want to have sex with them and feeling personally rejected. This can cause a strain on the relationship, but the strain can go away quite quickly once you both start talking more about how you’re feeling about sex. As difficult as starting these kinds of conversations can be, the benefits to you and your partner can be huge. Try to pick a time to chat when you and your partner are comfortable and relatively free of stress. Communication can be difficult but is very important.
Read more:
Learn how combat experience can affect:
Interview with B.J. and Abby Jackson – Creating a Sex Life after Combat
Interview with Dr. Mitch Tepper – Working to Address Sexuality for Wounded Warriors
