Sexual fantasies can be defined as any mental imagery that is erotic or arousing to the person having the sexual fantasy. A sexual fantasy could be an elaborate affair involving a harem, or a chorus line of pizza boys, or a sexual fantasy could be a fleeting thought about how great your partner looked in bed this morning. Sexual fantasies may cause feelings of guilt but the key element is that the intention of it is to be arousing.
Sigmund Freud believed that sexual fantasies were an indication of a problem in a person’s life, whether it be sexual dissatisfaction or sexual dysfunction. Contemporary research suggests this is not the case.
Sexual fantasies are an important part of overall sexual health, and research indicates a relationship between having sexual fantasies and sexual satisfaction. Some of the great things about sexual fantasy include:
- Sexual fantasies are a creative outlet; the more you use your brain for sexual fantasy the greater your exercise your sexual creativity.
- Sexual fantasies are private and yours; you don’t have to compromise or negotiate in your sexual fantasies, everything can be just the way you want it.
- Sexual fantasies give you ideas; you don’t need to act any out any of your sexual fantasies but some people find that it’s the first place they admit their own desires to themselves, and end up incorporating elements of sexual fantasy
- Sexual fantasies are good practice; you can also use fantasy and sexual imagination to try out different conversations, situations, and sexual behaviors before trying them out in real life.
There are different times and places where we have sexual fantasies:
- a daydream in the middle of your work day may be a sexual fantasy
- you may have a sexual fantasy at night while you’re sleeping as part of a dream
- people intentionally evoke sexual fantasies as part of masturbation
- people have sexual fantasies during sex with a partner
- people use sexual fantasy when they engage in sexual fantasy role play
Sexual fantasies can be involuntary, thoughts and scenarios that just seem to pop into your mind, or they can be very intentionally created.
