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What's Your Fantasy?

Definitions, frequency, and common themes of sexual fantasies

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Updated July 28, 2014

What's Your Fantasy?
Lauren Nicole/Digital Vision/Getty Images

Sexual fantasies may be the most common form of sexual expression (and if not number one, they run a close second to masturbation). While not everyone has sexual fantasies, it’s fair to say that everyone is capable of having sexual fantasies. In this way they are a great sexual equalizer.

Despite their popularity, sexual fantasies are one of those topics we don’t talk about much. As a result, many have questions about sexual fantasies, and find it hard to get straightforward answers. Luckily sex researchers have devoted a fair bit of research to the subject, so we can learn a little bit about the sexual fantasy lives of ourselves and others.

What are Sexual Fantasies?

Early theorists thought that sexual fantasies were an expression of some sort of dysfunction or pathology indicating there was something wrong with the person having fantasies. We now know the opposite is true, sexual fantasies are linked to more frequent and satisfying sex.
 

Does Everyone Fantasize About Sex?

Sexual fantasies may be the most common form of sexual expression. Some surveys indicate that 100% of men and women engage in sexual fantasy. The differences in how often we fantasize can be related to gender, and related to when we’re fantasizing (be it when we’re alone or with a partner).


Top Sexual Fantasies

With the incredible diversity in sexual tastes and interests it may seem surprising that the top sexual fantasies recorded by surveys tend to be the same six to ten themes. It may also surprise you to know that across several surveys the most common sexual fantasy is sex with a current partner.


Sexual Fantasy Ideas

Coming up with sexual fantasy ideas isn’t easy for everyone. Just as some of us are more creative with writing, or music, or cooking, so it is with sexual fantasy ideas.


How to Develop Sex Fantasy Role Plays

Whether you’re an expert at swinging from the ceiling vines, or a nervous newcomer to the idea of dressing up and getting down, fantasy sexual role play opens a new world of sexual possibilities.
 

Is it Bad to Fantasize During Sex with a Partner?

It’s easy to confuse sexual fantasy and reality, and many people worry that fantasizing about sex with someone else is akin to adultery. The good news is that what you do in your head isn’t the same as what you do in real life. But that doesn’t mean sexual fantasies never cause conflict in relationships.

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