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Clarify Your Own Sexual Values

By , About.com Guide

Updated March 30, 2008

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board

Knowing how to talk to our children about sex is often complicated by the fact that few of us spend time considering our own sexual values. Sexual values are the beliefs, priorities, prejudices, thoughts, and feelings we have about sex, sexuality, and gender.

There are at least two important reasons to clarify your own sexual values.

  • Doing so can help us act more consistently in our own lives. Because we don't always ask ourselves tough sexual questions, we sometimes act in ways that contradict how feel, because we haven't taken the time to clarify our own sexual values.
  • An important way to make sure we are not passing along the sexual values we hold that we might not like (prejudices, old beliefs that we wish we could change) is to clarify how we feel personally from what we hope for our children. Clarifying this for yourself can stop you from passing along old patterns to your kids.
Keep in mind that this isn't a simple thing to do, and it may take a long time as you will likely uncover thoughts and feelings you weren't aware of. Also, your sexual values change over time; way you feel when you are 24 may be different when you are 40. But taking time to think about how you feel about a wide range of issues related to sexuality will go a long way in helping you answer your child's questions.

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