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Tips on Talking to Your Doctor About Sex

By , About.com Guide

Updated November 30, 2009

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Talking with your doctor or health care professional about sex can be very hard. They are often rushed and may not give an obvious opening to a conversation about sex. Doctors have widely varying degrees of sexual knowledge. Some medical schools offer sexuality courses, but they are rarely required. Most doctors will have some training around sexual dysfunction, and will know about STDs, but will have very little general knowledge about other aspects of sexual health.

Plan Before You Go

Doctors tend to interrupt patients early on when they are trying to talk about their concerns, so think about what you’d like to ask, and see if you can put it in a question that is one or two sentences. You can fill in the details afterwards.

Talk To Friends

If you are comfortable with this, talk to other people about your concerns. Only pick people you think will respect your privacy and can handle a serious conversation about sex. Doing this can give you valuable information about other people’s experience, and it also gives you practice on talking about your concerns.

Do Some Research First

The internet is a great resource for health and medical information (be sure you are visiting reputable sites). If you have concerns, or are worried you may have a physical condition/illness/disease, do some research on your own first. You can bring what you’ve read in with you, or use your doctor to explain anything that may not be clear. Using online resources that physicians are familiar with can be a good idea.

Ask About Confidentiality

Doctors are required to keep communications with patients confidential, but it doesn’t mean they always will. It’s a good idea to ask your doctor what the rules of confidentiality are, and to let them know that you want the conversation to be private, even if your doctor also sees your spouse or partner as a patient.

Be Prepared for Their Discomfort

We tend to project a lot of expectations on our doctors. But like anyone else, your doctor may be uncomfortable talking about sex with you. This doesn’t mean that you can’t do it, and it doesn’t mean that your doctor can’t be helpful to you. Being prepared for a little bit of awkwardness will guard against you backing out at the last minute.

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