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Readers Respond: How Important Is Sex?

Responses: 29

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Updated August 16, 2011

From the article: How Important Is Sex?
Whether it means having sex, feeling sexy, or being sexual, social pressure and media hype often tells us that sex is all we think about, or all we're supposed to think about. But research indicates that sex may not be as important to others quality of life as we think it is. So how do you feel? How important is sex in your life? Share Your Answer

With out sex

I have been married over 25 years without sex,with only touch is to hold hands,to slow me down when we walk or a kiss at holiday times. She has no interest in trying to improve anything. She doesn't want to talking about it,or my needs. It's like having a housekeeper and cook only.
—Johnnywithout

EVERY SINGLE DAY

critical importance. We wake early each and every day and we prepare for marital intimacy - I shower and shave before bed, she dresses in appropriate lingerie - sex is VERY important to a good loving and healthy marriage - we get along with great love and respect out of the bedroom and we have a daily reminder of why we are good and nice to one another each morning - it is important - start the day with it - at the top of the list of things to do each day not at the end of it.
—Guest Guest Dan

Sex Is Important and Ageless

Having been taught that sex is only acceptable in a marriage, I always questioned how I was supposed to deal with my natural desires. Now I know that sex can be enjoyed as a single person. Even after the age of 50. For me, my sexual journey is starting. Many people miss the pleasures of sex because of the wrong mindset or because they take no time to really ponder what really fulfilling sex is. I wish for all people the joy of knowing the pleasures of sex.
—Guest Martha Lucinda

To me? Very. My husband, not at all.

I have lived for 23 years of no sex with my husband. He only wants to have tender soft lovemaking, and i need much much more; he has no interest in learning about what i need and so i go elsewhere to get the all-over intense stimulation that i need. We do not even talk about it any more.
—Guest Null and void

Married with out sex.

IM married without sex, my seven year old and five year old crawl all over me and IM loved by my wife and love my family but I feel very sad and desperate because I see no way out. I feel that the head of the CIA only acted on his desperation after 35 years of marrage .And is both brave and a coward. The shame is on her not him.
—Guest Brad

girl on top

I like being on top because I can better control his thrusts and penetration., But sometimes with reverse cow-girl he'll pull my arms back so I can't support myself and his thrusts hurt.
—Brook88

(Not so) Crucial

A multifaceted question.. here's my multifaceted answer! "Important" for me personally? Not really. Sex as an end goal was never exactly a top priority for me. I'm single and won't go out of my way for it (or for dates.) I have other time investments now that are more important for me to be staying on top of (pun intended? ha) than going round looking for sex. But what I'd want in a relationship? Sexual chemistry is *crucial.* It doesn't matter much what it is, if it's casual/serious, short-/long-term, etc... anything regular (not isolated instances.) Strong connection is as crucial. Without those both... In my experience chemistry/attraction w/ no other connection whatsoever-- gets old fast. I mostly disregard it now. Lots of the opposite--the strong connection w/ no sexual interest--haha that's all my female friends I don't care to sleep with (whether I do care to or not, seems unchangeable...), but still value the connection/quality time/mutual interest(s) in whatever.
—Guest RJD2

IMPORTANCE OF SEX?... IT ALWAYS DEPENDS.

In a relationship..its important its a way of opening up, communicating to your mate, feeling for each others desires, how each other give in, how much of themselves are they willing to give to each other, how far will they go to fulfilll each others demands, to show how hungry you are for each other. the way you have sex with you partner determines how deep the relationship is, how well you know each other where you stand in the relationship. So SEX is important in a relationship. Not based on how u do it, or how many times you do it, not on how DIRTY, WILD or how PASSIONATE u do it. But on how u share it with each other, knowing what it means to each other. On the other hand, if you are single, SEX in men can be important coz it shows masculinity in woman d ability to bear children and be wife potential. To a philander SEX might not be that important coz they can have it anytime. So importance of SEX depends on WHO u are WHERE u are, n' WHO u ARE WITH. ur opinion is urs, mine is mine
—JAM_MAGPAYO

Better than ever

By most definitions we're old...real old. We're also very passionate, 'over-sexed' and fulfilled. So, how important is sex to us? Fundamental! Here's hoping it is 4U2. Hugs, PA M
—4freedom42

Oh happy day!

I am 62 and loving a great, hot, sexy man my age. I've never been more comfortable, relaxed, and. . .well, sexy than I am right now. Retirement from my career, enough to live on, and apparent recovery from a chronic illness all happened at the right time to meet the right, precious, brilliant, and sexy man. Lucky me!
—Guest Kathleen

discovering preference

right now sex holds a somewhat important place.im bisexual and figuring out now in practice which gender sexually attracts me more..so to continue this discovery it is somewhat important
—Guest jay

Yes its important but not everything

as a christian young woman, i must remember that i'm human first and i'm not invincible 2 such temptations, God created us sexual beings and intended for us 2 share it with that person we will devote our lives 2, emotionally, spiritually and physically. it is important, but 4 me intimacy is much more, communicating with the person, knowing his dreams and goals and how u can help him reach his optimal potential
—Guest sweet_destiny_2

Yes, but there's so much more

Sex is definitely important. But it is only one aspect of the greater whole, which is the intimacy and unrestricted connection that you have with your partner. Incredible sexual experiences may not even involve sex – or orgasm. The best sexual experiences that I have had are from any combination of the following: Feeling of deep connection, absence of restriction or judgment, exploring new boundaries, pleasuring my partner.
—Guest Cuplinx

An Integral Part

Married fro nearly three decades, I am in deep love with my mate. Hence, sex has become an integral part. Not that we ask each other for it, it is an auto kindle.We are aroused simultaneously, mostly, hence we have it with passion. This has increased our intimacy.
—Guest Sarum

Sex? What is sex?

What do you define as 'sex'? When I had a boyfriend I made him have orgasms by merely stroking his hand. Was it 'sex'? For him, you may say. But was it 'sex' for me? I still wonder. Tactile communication is indeed important for me, but I am not sure whether what I need is 'sex'.
—Guest Russian Female

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