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Readers Respond: What Is Cheating?

Responses: 4

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From the article: What Counts as Cheating?
It's a question most people who have been in a committed relationship have asked themselves at one time or another: What is cheating? Is it cheating to flirt? What about making out? Is cybersex cheating? Does cheating only happen when there is physical sexual contact, or can you cheat in your mind?

It all depends....

I personally feel that it is cheating if you have an emotional feeling for someone and it causes conflict in your present situation. Every relationship is different and there isn't a "one size fits all" answer. If you know that your actions would hurt the other person, then you shouldn't do them. If you are just trying to fill a void, then maybe you need to look at your relationship and why you have that void. You also have to be aware of what the perception is of your actions. You may know that what you are doing is totally innocent but it gives the appearance of something different and it could hurt your partner. There are so many different ways to look at this that it really is difficult to say what is cheating and what isn't. I do agree that you shouldn't tell if you are feeling guilty and you need to tell so as to release yourself from your guilt. It is your guilt. Deal with it and don't drag the other person into your mess!
—Guest FunSexyBadGirl

Cheating is about lies

My ex cheated constantly, never in a sexual way but by hiding information from me, excluding me from decisions, working when he should have been spending time with me, spying on me instead of talking to me, drinking instead of sharing how he felt. I wouldn't have cared if he'd had sex with someone else but he stole all the intimacy from our relationship and cheated us both of the future we had planned & our children of two parents together.
—Guest The lies

Secrets

I'm in a long-distance relationship with my finacee right now, and both of us get lonely. We both agreed we can do whatever with whoever - as long as we check with the other first to make sure she's comfortable with it. If it's not a secret, it's not cheating.
—Guest StormDewleaf

Swallowing

This comes not from me but from a co-worker, who told me that they have a simple answer to what is cheating. Swallowing is cheating. I'd have to disagree, but I thought it was pretty funny.
—Guest onTv

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