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Readers Respond: What Is Cheating?

Responses: 6

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From the article: What Counts as Cheating?
It's a question most people who have been in a committed relationship have asked themselves at one time or another: What is cheating? Is it cheating to flirt? What about making out? Is cybersex cheating? Does cheating only happen when there is physical sexual contact, or can you cheat in your mind? What Do You Think Counts?

It's Complicated

When one person in a relationship is having any kind of a relationship with another person behind their partner's back, that is cheating. Having knowledge and/or engaging in activities without the partner's knowledge is cheating. Not being emotional or intimate with partner is cheating.
—Guest Gina

Cheating

If your in a relationship with someone and you love them my deifinition of cheating is falling in love with another. Telling another you love them even if its a lie or cutting time you are sopposed to spend with them to spend time with the other. For me it was originally about telling the truth but I found that sometimes the truth hurts more than the lies. I think its cheating if it becomes a situation where the other woman is calling the house. Otherwise just keep your mouth shut if you feel bad about keeping it in then you must have a problem with what you did. In which case telling on yourself is more to appease your own self then doing it for her. Live with youself if you don't like what you did don't do it. If you care about her keep it out of her face. Also know that if she says she wants the truth 9 out of 10 she doesn't it will hurt her. I think its best just to be true to youself. If your compatible though this should be a non issue.
—Guest casandra

It all depends....

I personally feel that it is cheating if you have an emotional feeling for someone and it causes conflict in your present situation. Every relationship is different and there isn't a "one size fits all" answer. If you know that your actions would hurt the other person, then you shouldn't do them. If you are just trying to fill a void, then maybe you need to look at your relationship and why you have that void. You also have to be aware of what the perception is of your actions. You may know that what you are doing is totally innocent but it gives the appearance of something different and it could hurt your partner. There are so many different ways to look at this that it really is difficult to say what is cheating and what isn't. I do agree that you shouldn't tell if you are feeling guilty and you need to tell so as to release yourself from your guilt. It is your guilt. Deal with it and don't drag the other person into your mess!
—Guest FunSexyBadGirl

Cheating is about lies

My ex cheated constantly, never in a sexual way but by hiding information from me, excluding me from decisions, working when he should have been spending time with me, spying on me instead of talking to me, drinking instead of sharing how he felt. I wouldn't have cared if he'd had sex with someone else but he stole all the intimacy from our relationship and cheated us both of the future we had planned & our children of two parents together.
—Guest The lies

Secrets

I'm in a long-distance relationship with my finacee right now, and both of us get lonely. We both agreed we can do whatever with whoever - as long as we check with the other first to make sure she's comfortable with it. If it's not a secret, it's not cheating.
—Guest StormDewleaf

Swallowing

This comes not from me but from a co-worker, who told me that they have a simple answer to what is cheating. Swallowing is cheating. I'd have to disagree, but I thought it was pretty funny.
—Guest onTv

What Do You Think Counts?

What Is Cheating?

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