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Readers Respond: What’s Bad Sex?

Responses: 79


Twiddlin my toes in frustration

Bad sex is giving the man my all...sucking his dick to mindblowing ecstasy then twiddling my toes in frustration as I wait in vain for his 'out of this world pussy job'...screw that...best i masturbate alone at home
—Guest dontneedit


My first time was extremely painful, and when the pain stopped it was just boring. All I wanted was for him to be done. That was two years ago and I havent had a relationship since because I felt like if I got a boyfriend he'd want to have sex and I just didnt feel like it was worth the energy to undress. Now I'm afraid that my lack of experience has doomed me to a life of bad sex. All of this could have been avoided if my ex had taken his time instead of shoving it in me the second he got his pants off.
—Guest sadpanda

Bad Sex is Lack of Stamina, Size, Effort

I've only ever been with my fiance. He is terrible at sex. I've always been taught that a woman HAS to protect the man's ego, but I am tired of faking at my expense. I would rather there was no foreplay, because at least it would be over faster. Of course, that's not a huge problem, pun intended, because he is very small and can't even go for two minutes. I'm told that he is average, but I highly suspect men write those articles, and say that so other men don't feel bad. I've given up the hope of ever being satisfied by him. I've even grown to resent him on many levels, because he always gets his, and I've never had mine. We've tried talking, role playing, and all sorts of other things. He's just bad at sex, and after ten years, I'm done. I'll never cheat, because I'm not that sort of person. I just wish he could at least TRY to get better. I even watched bj movies to try and get better at my own techniques. Not him, though.
—Guest depressedfemme

Bad sex is boring sex

My girlfriend has a few more inhibitions than I. We have great vanilla sex (which I love also) but it just isnt quite enough as I would rather be taken "round the world". I told her I like receptive anal (plugs etc) but it freaks her out. Starting to realize this may be doomed.....shame cos I really love her.

When Sometimes it Just Doesn't Work

Been with my boyfriend for about 3 years. We have it good occasionally, but most of the time it's bad!! The relationship's so good, I put up with it, god-forbid. I try EVERYTHING. Different positions, different places, different techniques, etc. But when the sex finally gets good again, he can't hold out or get's tired (writer's lifestyle).
—Guest couldf**katoasterbynow

Bad sex = unwanted surprises!!

My first time I did with a girl and we where a good match. After a couple of dates and exploritive texting we decided to go all the way the next time we meet. After the first 10 min of great sex, my junk slipped out and as I lean up to put it back in there was a very unwanted surprise. My junk looked like a candycain gone VERY wrong and I casualy say " umm there's blood on my d**k". That is bad sex....
—Guest Army_Scout20

No Foreplay and No regard=bad sex

My previous boyfriend and I were madly in love for a good six months or so (at least it seemed that way to me), but somewhere along the line he stopped trying to do foreplay with me before sticking it in. Even when i told him that I was in pain, or that I was hurting every time we had sex, he would completely forget the next time and still refused to do foreplay when he wanted his fix immediately. In my blind love for him, this lead to me sometimes faking orgasms through screaming in agony. Just know that if the guy you're with doesn't want to take the time or disregards any feedback (even if it's when you're close to tears), run. Took me seven more months of our relationship for me to realize that before dumping him. Don't be that love-sick dumb ass that I was
—Guest Wickedgreen

No Foreplay, Bad Oral Sex

So we'd been together almost 3 years and the first 2 months of sex was good I guess because it was new but since then its been HORRIBLE. I'm tired of faking and I'm most definitely tired of him thinking it's so great.. Bad sex for me is no foreplay or minimal foreplay, bunny rabbit pumping , dry fingering and the worst part of all HORRID oral..I might sound like I'm complaining but you try putting up with this for at least 4 nights a week sometimes 2xs nite I'm about ready to cheat.
—Guest canitgetanyworse

Bad Sex = No Foreplay

Bad sex is when there is no a foreplay before sex.
—Guest endish

I don't know..

man: What do you like? woman: I don't know... man: what turns you on? woman: I don't know... man: do you like this (as he's doing whatever).. woman...I don't know... woman: why are you leaving? man: I DON 'T KNOW!? Nothing worse than BAD SEX.
—Guest no hang ups

One Pump

Bad sex is when it lasts at most 2 minutes with no foreplay, one pump, and he wants to cuddle afterward. Seriously, I'd rather masturbate than ever have to go through that again.
—Guest Jenya

I'm A Virgin

I am a 19 year old virgin, soooo...... Does that mean i should just never even try to have sex? Virgins get a bad rep for being bad at sex but everyone has to start somewhere i guess. Is it fair to break up with a person who gave u bad sex if u were their first? And another thing, women usually just lie there during sex anyway. most of the time they don't even do anything, so, doesn't that mean that part of it is their fault too? I feel like there's always so much pressure on the guys performance.
—Guest TheNewKid

Bad Sex Is In the Mind

The problem is not with yourself, or your body. The problem is the mind, and its recordings. During pregnancy and birth things happen that leave 'recordings' in the baby's subconscious memory. These memories contain words and actions that really make no sense out of context, but affect and change behavior patterns. Including attitudes to sex, and mood. The function of the mind (memories) will control functions of the body.
—Guest Gilbert

Bad sex Is Two Minutes of Sex

With my girlfriend she always wants to orgasm which I think is great except it takes 20 minutes of various foreplay to achieve this and in the end by the time I actually get it in the anticipation makes me come early and now I'm unhappy and don't want sex anymore.
—Guest Blahsex

Not Moving Is Bad Sex

First, my girlfriend wanted the perfect scenario. Fine. Then she wanted lots of foreplay. No problem. Then she laid there silently during the deed and never made an attempt to move, let alone reciprocate. Next time, I'm going bowling.
—Guest Sick0fStarving
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