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Readers Respond: What’s Bad Sex?

Responses: 88


Updated March 09, 2011

When Size Gets in the Way

Size is not supposed to be everything but what happens when your partner is huge and you try to take him on....you perform all the sexual tricks he wants but he has no patience.....that's BaD SEX
—Guest strawberry

lack of chemistry

My last gf would catch herself up if she thought I was heading towards an orgasm faster than her and we always both came usually at the right time as in her just before me. But with this new girl i don't feel right. It's like my own orgasm is only mediocre because she's not gonna cum... I said sorry and shes like no really i still enjoy it a lot but it's a shitty consolation...
—Guest nocrush

When it isn't mutual pleasure

My boyfriend and I were getting tired of the same ole sex routine so I did some searching to find some exciting positions and found one that sounds super promising (CAT). I pitch it to my guy and he says, Yeah that sounds nice for you but not so good for me so no. He won't even try it... The worst sex is when he doesn't even care enough to want to pleasure you, even though you do things to pleasure him ALL THE TIME. Sadness :(
—Guest Hope "For Better Sex" Jones

Lack of foreskin

Male circumcision causes chafing and discomfort for both parties. Foreskin restoration can greatly improve the experience. For information, see Sex as Nature Intended It by Kristen O'Hara. For information on foreskin restoration, see the TLC Tugger by Ron Low.
—Guest Thank you

Just not good

Sex is sometimes amazing, but with this one girl I was seeing it was boring, and not just for one reason. Maybe it was lack of chemistry or whatever. 1. Bad kisser. Not terrible, but sloppy. It hurt when she sucked my tongue. 2. No kissing of the neck or other part of the body. No blowjobs. Ever. She stopped me from eating her out everytime even though I have gotten plenty of girls off with my mouth alone many times. 3. It always hurt when I entered her and for the first 5 minutes of sex. She is not a virgin and she was sufficiently wet beforehand. She apologized for not being able to take me. I am above average and some girls call me big (wide) but I am not huge enough for this to be a problem. 4. Only missionary position. I tried on the side and her half on her stomach but doggy and anything else hurt too much. 5. She gave me a few signs she got pleasure, but they didn't last too long. A lot of time I was wondering if she was fully enjoying it even though she said she was.
—Guest gottagetlayid

All sex is bad

Now when you're having sex with someone you are madly in love with and he is madly in love with you and you are married and have four beautiful children it feels like ecstasy. You are on top of the world. But then the next day when he seems to have forgotten you and he's off playing video games and you start to remember that he had several sexual partners before you met and you had none, and you feel like you want to die, then you realize all sex is bad. You only want it it because that is nature's way of tricking you into re-populating the species.
—Guest havingabadday

It's Simple

Bad sex is mechanical sex. It's plumbing sex, full of technique and focused on 'best practice'. Bad sex is uncaring sex, disconnected sex. Bad sex is when you have it for all the wrong reasons (and there are a million wrong reasons). Bad sex is empty sex. Bad sex is meaningless sex. Sex is communication. Sex is an activity performed within a context created by a relationship. That context is both historical and anticipatory. It is exactingly real and it is a dream of what may be. If there is no relationship...no context....then sex as an activity which has meaning only within context, becomes nothing. It becomes everything everyone here describes. Sex becomes Bad....the Communication no more than noise. But, given Context....then anything is possible. The monomaniacal mistake is in thinking that sex is a singularity. Is sex sweaty and animalistic? Certainly. Is it ethereal and transcendent? Absolutely. Is it experimental & exciting, traditional and soothing?

the differrence between ooh and ahh

what is the difference between oooh and aahhhh? two inches......either size of being able to hit that spot makes a big difference...its not worth it to me not to have an orgasm after bringing my partner over the top every time
—Guest ice

Never Getting to Have Sex Is Bad Sex

The only bad sex is losing my beloved long-distance girlfriend (or WORSE, local girlfriend) to a rival before we even HAD sex!

Twiddlin my toes in frustration

Bad sex is giving the man my all...sucking his dick to mindblowing ecstasy then twiddling my toes in frustration as I wait in vain for his 'out of this world pussy job'...screw that...best i masturbate alone at home
—Guest dontneedit


My first time was extremely painful, and when the pain stopped it was just boring. All I wanted was for him to be done. That was two years ago and I havent had a relationship since because I felt like if I got a boyfriend he'd want to have sex and I just didnt feel like it was worth the energy to undress. Now I'm afraid that my lack of experience has doomed me to a life of bad sex. All of this could have been avoided if my ex had taken his time instead of shoving it in me the second he got his pants off.
—Guest sadpanda

Bad Sex is Lack of Stamina, Size, Effort

I've only ever been with my fiance. He is terrible at sex. I've always been taught that a woman HAS to protect the man's ego, but I am tired of faking at my expense. I would rather there was no foreplay, because at least it would be over faster. Of course, that's not a huge problem, pun intended, because he is very small and can't even go for two minutes. I'm told that he is average, but I highly suspect men write those articles, and say that so other men don't feel bad. I've given up the hope of ever being satisfied by him. I've even grown to resent him on many levels, because he always gets his, and I've never had mine. We've tried talking, role playing, and all sorts of other things. He's just bad at sex, and after ten years, I'm done. I'll never cheat, because I'm not that sort of person. I just wish he could at least TRY to get better. I even watched bj movies to try and get better at my own techniques. Not him, though.
—Guest depressedfemme

Bad sex is boring sex

My girlfriend has a few more inhibitions than I. We have great vanilla sex (which I love also) but it just isnt quite enough as I would rather be taken "round the world". I told her I like receptive anal (plugs etc) but it freaks her out. Starting to realize this may be doomed.....shame cos I really love her.

When Sometimes it Just Doesn't Work

Been with my boyfriend for about 3 years. We have it good occasionally, but most of the time it's bad!! The relationship's so good, I put up with it, god-forbid. I try EVERYTHING. Different positions, different places, different techniques, etc. But when the sex finally gets good again, he can't hold out or get's tired (writer's lifestyle).
—Guest couldf**katoasterbynow

Bad sex = unwanted surprises!!

My first time I did with a girl and we where a good match. After a couple of dates and exploritive texting we decided to go all the way the next time we meet. After the first 10 min of great sex, my junk slipped out and as I lean up to put it back in there was a very unwanted surprise. My junk looked like a candycain gone VERY wrong and I casualy say " umm there's blood on my d**k". That is bad sex....
—Guest Army_Scout20

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