Product Review: When Is a Sex Toy Not a Sex Toy?

What makes something a sex toy? Is it an object that you have to put inside or on your body? Is it a device designed specifically for sexual pleasure? If so, what about all those shower heads and washing machines out there (to say nothing of our own hands, arms, feet, and brains).

And if an device is designed to be good for us, to improve our health in some way, is it still a sex toy?

The words we use matter in all sorts of ways, and so I find myself unsure of whether or not to refer to things like vaginal dilators as sex toys. They look like other sex toys. In some cases they are made by people who make sex toys. And in the case of the Femani Intimate Wands, one of the two dilator sets reviewed below, they are designed by people who sell sex toys for a living.

So do I call them dilators? Or follow the manufacturer and call them "wands"? Or do I just call them vibrators?

In a lot of ways I don't think it matters. Except that I know it makes a difference in how people feel comfortable (or not) asking about and accessing the products themselves. For some people, a sexual health device sounds more comfortable and more acceptable to use than a vibrator. For others the idea that they need help, or that their sexuality is being medicalized at all can feel like a stigma and they'd much rather think of a dilator as a tool or a toy.

Sex is already so loaded down with shame and confusion for most of us that I wish everything was available in multiple ways, so that we don't need to conform to one idea of sexuality or another in order to find ways to enjoy our bodies and explore our sexuality more. And whatever you call them, the two dilator sets I review below each have pros and cons, but both might be something you could use to feel pleasure and/or to help make vaginal penetration more comfortable and pleasurable in the future.

About.com Reviews: Femani Intimates Wand Massagers and the Intimate Basics Dilator Set