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9 Weeks to Better Sex

Week 8: Dealing with Sexual Problems

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This series of lessons is designed for people in relationships who are having sex but want to change or develop their sex lives in some new way. Each lesson includes a little bit of sex education, suggestions of activities to try out during the week, and an opportunity to let you reflect on your experience of what it’s like to try and change your sex life. This course is not meant as a substitute for working through things with your partner, nor is it a substitute for sex therapy or counseling.

I recommend starting the course from the beginning, or signing up to receive these lessons automatically each week as a 9 Weeks to Better Sex online course.

Dealing With Sexual Problems
If you’re in a relationship, I don’t need to tell you that the sex lives of couples isn’t always rosy. When you set out to improve your sex life, to have better sex, it’s reasonable and predictable that some problems will arise. Sexual problems or difficulties aren’t in and of themselves a bad thing. Much good can come from struggling with a sexual issue whether its physical, psychological, emotional or even spiritual.

This week’s lesson offers some information on common sexual problems, and exercises on how to deal with sexual difficulties when they arise.

Section 1 - Erotic Education

10 Ways to Screw Up Your Sex Life
It's surprisingly easy to sabotage your sex life. Here are some common ways to create sexual problems for yourself, and make dealing with those problems more difficult.

Do We Need Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy or counseling can be beneficial for couples who are stuck and struggling with sexual issues in their relationship. Before you seek sexual help be sure you know what you're looking for and who is, and isn't, trained to offer sexual therapy.

Find a Sexual Health Clinic
If you're having sexual problems, often a good place to start is with a physical exam to rule out, or zone in on any physical causes of sexual difficulties. Most doctors receive little to no training in human sexuality, and finding a sex-positive doctor can be a challenge. Get tips on finding a sexual health clinic near you.

Sexual Difficulties, Dysfunctions, and Disorders
Sometimes it's helpful to know that you're not alone in the sexual difficulties you're experiencing. Learn more about common sexual difficulties and dysfunctions.

Section 2 - Getting Your Hands Dirty

Talking About the Tough Stuff
For some couples, wanting better sex is itself a source of conflict. If one of you says they want more and the other says their happy with what's going on conflict is inevitable. But conflict isn't necessarily bad. Here are some tips on how to talk about sexual problems or dissatisfaction in your relationship.

Section 3 - Better Sex Journal

Dealing With Sexual Problems
Creating a better sex life requires not only sexual action but sexual reflection. Use these ideas and questions to guide you in reflecting on lesson two. You can either keep an actual journal or if privacy or access is a barrier, just think about the questions and answer them in your head.

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