Get a lay of the sex toy land. Surf around online, if you’ve got an accessible sex shop near you go in for a visit, if you have the kind of friends you can talk to about sex toys, ask them what they know. Be wary of sex shops that push only the most expensive product, or online retailers that don’t respond to your email questions. There are enough good quality sex shops these days that you shouldn’t have to suffer sex store fools gladly.
If you’re shopping online I always recommend emailing a few different places with a basic question (about price, shipping, ask them for toy suggestions, etc…) Based on the speed of their response, and the honesty of the answer, you’ll get a sense of whether this is a company you want to deal with. Any given sex shop clerk may not know about disability (on the other hand they might) but they should be willing to answer your questions and try to get more information for you if you’re working on an adaptation.
Learn more about buying sex toys: