Despite claims that we live in a time of unprecedented sexual openness and communication most of us still hold secret sexual desires, desires we may not even admit to ourselves, and with them some sexual shame. One way to begin dealing with shame is to reveal our secret desires at least to ourselves.
Over the next week take time to pay attention to where you mind wanders when you fantasize about sex. Try to do this at least twice, and each time try to spend at least five minutes thinking about it. If thinking about where your mind goes feels painful, don't force it. But just kind of take note of what it is that you think about, or what you feel in your body when you begin to have a sexual fantasy.Remember that sexual fantasies are not the same thing as sexual actions. Thinking and doing are two different things. Although often it can feel like just thinking about something is bad, even if we never share our thoughts or desires with anyone or act on them.
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