1. Health
You can opt-out at any time. Please refer to our privacy policy for contact information.

How To Perform Cunnilingus

By

Updated May 09, 2014

Young couple holding each other
Stockbyte/Getty Images

Some people consider oral sex the most intimate of all sex acts. Cunnilingus, the technical term for performing oral sex on a woman, can be incredibly intimate. To be good at it you have to be an excellent reader of her body, her breathing, her movements, and what she may be telling you with words.

Everything you do is for your partner in that moment and not based on a performance expectations, lessons from porn, or previous oral sex experiences. It can be a bit Zen...but with more saliva. If you've got the basics covered, check out our advanced cunnilingus technique.

Here's How:
  1. Clean yourself up!
    Make sure your hands are clean, and your nails are trimmed as you'll probably want to use your hands as well as your mouth on her. If you have facial hair and shave regularly, be sure to do it now, nothing kills the mood quite like sandpaper on her sensitive parts.
     
  2. Get wet.
    A lot of people have preconceived notions about the taste and/or smell of their partner’s genitals. If you're anxious about this, suggest a romantic bath or shower together and then go down on her. Getting naked and wet with each other is never a bad idea, and as you get more comfortable you will probably find that your partners taste and smell trigger more arousal than anything else. Some people use flavored lubricants, and many dental dams (great for safer sex) are flavored also.
     
  3. Start slowly.
    Most women won’t want to go from zero to oral sex in 30 seconds. Take your time and ease into it. Do other things you know she loves. Use your hands and mouth all over her body—which will nicely foreshadow what is to come. When she’s good and excited—her hips are thrusting and the moans pretty regular, head south.
     
  4. Get comfortable.
    Both of you will enjoy this more if you’re both physically comfortable. Use pillows and be creative with oral sex positions so that you are both relaxed and feel like you can move around. Some people will find it hard on their neck to lie between their partners legs with their head poised over her vulva. For others this will work just great. Remember that it’s okay to change positions and move around.
     
  5. Get the lay of the land.
    If you don’t have the body parts, you may want to brush up on your female genital anatomy . Most of the attention with cunnilingus is on the clitoris, but every woman is different, and there may be other parts of her that will take oral sex from the everyday to the out of this world. Use your fingers to spread her lips and take a good look at her clitoris, her labia, her mons, her vagina, her perineum and her anus.
     
  6. When in doubt, go slow.
    A lot of women have very sensitive clitorises, so avoid stampeding to the clitoris. Flatten your tongue and use wide slow strokes to explore her inner and outer lips, her vagina, and her clitoris. Imagine licking an ice cream cone. Start at the perineum and lick up and around her clit and back down the other side.
     
  7. Check the hood.
    Most women prefer to have their clitorises licked through the clitoral hood. This is a fold of skin that covers the actual glans of the clitoris, which is extremely sensitive.
     
  8. Experiment with different strokes.
    In general, women tend to like firm pressure and repetitive motion. Quick tongue flicks against the clitoris can be irritating. If you’re not sure, ask her to give you feedback while you try different kinds of strokes—circular, side-to-side, up-and-down. Don’t take it personally if she flinches—discovering what pleases is often a process of trial and error—just try something else.
     
  9. Let her give you a hand.
    If you've ever seen her masturbate, you have some idea how she likes her clit to be touched. Ask her to show you now, or you can offer her your hand and ask her to demonstrate the kind of stroking she prefers by placing hers on top of yours.
     
  10. Use your mouth.
    Take her clitoris in your mouth and gently suck on it. Use your mouth to suck on or nibble her labia.
     
  11. Add penetration.
    When she’s good and excited, add some lubricant to your fingers or toy and gently insert it into her vagina. Move them in and out using short but firm strokes. Put your mouth back on her clitoris and lick her while you penetrate her. This won’t do it for all women, but many love the experience of clitoral stimulation and penetration.
     
  12. Keep a steady pace, try not to stop.
    Women like steady stimulation, so don’t stop unless you need to come up for air. You’ll see the signs when she’s getting ready to go over the top—her moans, her thighs pressing against your head, her body arching, her hands tightening on your head! She’ll let you know when to stop.

Tips:

  1. Don't forget the rest of her body. In terms of what's nearby, you can incorporate the perineum and vaginal opening into your oral sex. Let your tongue travel down and pop in and out of the vagina occasionally.
  2. If you are using a sex toy for penetration, she might prefer to work the dildo or vibrator inside her while you're licking. This allows you to concentrate, and her to get the rhythm she likes best.
  3. If your mouth or tongue tires, give it a rest, but replace the stimulation with your hand or a vibrator (unless she wants a rest too).
  4. Male partners need to know that it can take women longer to come than men, and many women are anxious about this. Whatever you do, don't make her feel bad about how long it's taking, and hang in there for the long haul. If you need to stop or change things up, that’s okay, but don’t make it about her “taking too long”.
  1. About.com
  2. Health
  3. Sexuality
  4. Tips and Techniques for Better Sex
  5. Oral Sex
  6. How To Perform Cunnilingus

©2014 About.com. All rights reserved.