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Top Sexual Fantasies


Top Sexual Fantasies
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There is no single list of top sexual fantasies. Every survey of sexual fantasies produces a slightly different list of top sexual fantasies.  And those lists often say more about the times they were created than what is at the heart of human desire.  Research from the 1970s to the present it seems clear that the content of sexual fantasies depends greatly on the sexual experiences of the people making the list.

For example in early lists of top sexual fantasies, oral sex was frequently on the list. As oral sex has become a less “alternative” and more commonly practiced and discussed sexual behavior it is less frequently seen on lists of most common sexual fantasies.

That said, looking at research over the past thirty years there are some commonalities found on many lists.

Many people wonder if male sexual fantasy is fundamentally different than female sexual fantasy, and if you made a list of most common male and female sexual fantasies, would they look the same. Researchers disagree on this point, often based on their own theoretical orientation.

In a survey of dozens of academic research articles on sexual fantasy, psychologists Harold Leitenberg and Kris Henning found the following themes among the top sexual fantasies:

  1. Having sex with your current partner
  2. Having sex with a stranger or imaginary lover
  3. Being forced or overpowered, or overpowering someone
  4. Group sex
  5. Reliving a previous sexual encounter
  6. Different sex positions or locations
  7. Doing things you would never do in reality

Some people might be surprised to learn that in survey the most common sexual fantasy was having sex with a partner, but when you think about it, and remember that sexual fantasies aren’t just the over-the-top dream sex you have, but include every time you think about sex and feel aroused, it makes sense that we would think more about the person we’re currently having sex with (hopefully because the sex is memorable).

Leitenberg, H. and Henning, K. “Sexual Fantasy” Psychological Bulletin Volume 117, No. 3. (1995): 469-496.

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