I’ve spoken with thousands of guys who had no idea they could use a vibrator. They either thought vibrators only worked on women, or they weren’t for guys "like them.” Once most of these men gave vibrators a chance, they quickly became converts. Vibrators aren’t made for one gender, body type, orientation, or political affiliation. They’re for anyone interested in discovering new ways to feel sexual pleasure. Men in particular are offered a narrow set of sexual options, and vibrators can help expand those options and discover pleasure and orgasms you didn’t even know were in you. If you’re curious, here are some tips for men on how to use a vibrator.
Time Required: The first few times you experiment, give yourself lots of time and privacy.
- Explode the myth.
Most people think vibrators are for women only. Not true. Research on vibrator use tells us that almost half of all men have used a vibrator. Since you may have never thought vibrators could be for you, give yourself some time to get comfortable with the idea. The good news is that once you do, you’ll be greatly rewarded. Remember that sex toys aren’t made for certain kinds of people, they’re made to stimulate nerve endings. Anyone and everyone could be the “kind of person” who uses vibrators, and using one doesn’t say anything about you other than the fact that you like yourself enough to want to feel good.
- Research before you buy.
Learn a little bit about vibrator basics before you buy one. Some vibrators are designed for men's bodies, but most can be used by people of all genders. Once you've made your purchase make sure you have the right batteries (unless its rechargeable), take it home and before you even try to use it, check it out and acquaint yourself with its features. Make sure it's in good working order before you try it. If it isn't, any reputable sex shop will have a return policy. Don't let embarrassment or shame stop you before you even get a chance to try a vibrator.
- Don't look away.
Many of us who are sighted have sex with our eyes closed, or at least we close our eyes at the moments of the most intense pleasure. There's nothing wrong with this, but when you are first trying a vibrator out it can reduce the benefits. Guys aren't always so specific about their pleasure spots. You may know that you love the feeling of stimulation around the head of the penis, or the scrotum or shaft. But are you aware of the specific spots? Have you noticed how in one area strong squeezing is what turns you on, and in another it's a lighter touch that drives you wild? Vibrators can give you a tool to do just this kind of exploration, and if you do it with the lights on, or at least with focused attention, you may learn a thing or two about your sexual response that you didn't know before.
- Try it without the motor first.
You may be 100% familiar with your genitals (or at least think you are), but how well do you know your calves or thighs? When was the last time you noticed how it feels to be touched behind your knees? Before you turn the vibrator on, get used to how it feels on your body. Press it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles with it. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a slow way of introducing your body to the vibrator.
- Start general, then get specific.
We are so penis-focused that it’s no wonder most men think that their penis is not only the best sexual part of their body, but the only area capable of giving them an orgasm. In fact there are many parts of a man’s body that are capable of experiencing intense sexual pleasure. Using a vibrator is a great way to find them. Once you turn your vibrator on, start by touching it to the parts of your body farthest from your genitals (which is probably where you are going to want to touch first). Use the vibrator on your feet, feel what it's like on your fingers and hand. Run it up and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your shoulders and neck, your scalp and face. Most guys will use a vibrator around the penis, scrotum, ass and nipples, but a vibrator never gets tired (although the motor can burn out) so don’t be in a hurry to get there. Once you've got a feel of vibration all over your body you can slowly move to the more sensitive parts.
- The sensitive parts.
Move the vibrator up your inner thigh, gently run it over the perineum, or in circles around your nipples. The more sensitive the area you're moving to, the slower you should set the vibrator speed. You can use a vibrator to stroke up and down the shaft of the penis or to gently roll around the head and frenulum. If you aren't sure how you'd use a vibrator read up on the anatomy of the penis and treat it like a checklist.
- Different speeds for different parts.
Because men tend to use a lot of friction when they masturbate, stronger vibrators are often needed, particular around the genitals. But when exploring other parts of your body, always start on a low setting and work your way up. Particularly with anal vibrators, even a slight change in the speed of the vibrator can be felt, and playing with the speed settings can be highly pleasurable.
- Using pressure to vary the feel.
It might not feel good to press very hard around the scrotum, but if you put your vibrator on the perineum and apply deep pressure you are stimulating the prostate externally, something that some men love. Some guys find that with a strong enough vibrator and enough pressure, using a vibrator on the head of the penis will give them an orgasm without ever moving the vibrator. Don't expect the vibrator to do all the work for you. Try applying different kinds of pressure as you hold the vibrator to find what works for you.
- External vs. internal vibration.
Hard plastic and electric vibrators are the best for external stimulation as they are stronger and more comfortable to use externally. You can use these vibrators for external anal stimulation as well. If you want to explore anal penetration with a vibrator it’s recommended that you either get an anal attachment for your electric vibrator or buy a separate vibrator that is safe for anal use. You may find vibrators made of silicone or other softer materials are more comfortable for anal penetration. Always use a water based lubricant for any penetration play.
- External anal stimulation.
The anus (the part on the outside that you can see and touch) is rich with nerve endings and usually responds favorably to stimulation. As mentioned above, start slowly and work from the inside out. See what the vibrator feels like on your lower back, your bum, and your inner thighs. Move slowly and gently to the anus and start by applying just a little pressure. You can roll the edge of the vibrator around the area and experiment with pressure and speed as you go. Once they get over the newness of the feeling many men find this highly pleasurable.
- Anal penetration with a vibrator.
Anal penetration requires patience, arousal, and a lot of lubricant. Start slow and get yourself fully aroused by using the vibrator externally first. Don’t force an anal toy inside your body. Instead, with the vibrator on, just leave the tip at the opening of the anus and let the toy slide in gently when your body is ready. Once inside you can move the vibrator around and also play with the speed of the vibrator. Tilting the vibrator toward your belly button will stimulate the prostate. You may have to add more lubricant depending on how long your play lasts.
- Give yourself time to explore on your own. When you are with a partner there's always some part of your attention that is focused on them. This makes sense, but performance anxiety and general discomfort about trying new things can really get in the way of you enjoying yourself and noticing some of the great things that sex with a vibrator has to offer. So even if you've got a partner who is ready and willing, take your vibrator for a few solo spins before using it with a partner.
- Prostate massagers. Some vibrators are better suited for prostate massage than others. Vibrators that aren’t too big, and have a gentle curve tend to work well. Some men like the feeling of pressure alone on the prostate and will use a vibrator but keep it turned off. Others enjoy the feeling of vibration and pressure. Remember to use lots of lubricant and only toys that are safe for anal penetration.
- Be patient. Many men are used to sex play that involves a lot of quick rubbing and stimulation. Vibrators give you the chance to try something completely different. Even if you find the vibe doesn’t drive you to the heights of orgasm immediately, give it chance. Find a place on your body where the vibration feels good and leave the vibrator there for a minute or two. Apply pressure and let the vibrations go deeper into your body. You may be surprised by the results.
Battery vibrator tip.
If you purchased a vibrator that takes batteries, remember to take the batteries out of the vibrator each time your finished using it. If batteries are left in the vibrator may turn on accidentally and stay at a low speed, which will burn out the motor and could make for some embarrassing moments when everyone at dinner is wondering where that buzzing is coming from. Also if you leave batteries in your toy and forget it, they can corrode and destroy the vibrator.
- Anal vibrator safety.
Don’t share sex toys unless you use a condom every time. If you’re playing with a female partner never let a sex toy that has been in the rectum go in the vagina. Always use water based lubricant when using a vibrator for anal penetration. You can put some lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers put some lube on the outside and just inside the anus. Replenish the lubricant on the vibrator throughout the sex play.