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Readers Respond: What’s Bad Sex?

Responses: 79

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From the article: How to Have Bad Sex
What makes for bad sex? Are there things you’ve done that in retrospect you think reduced your chances of getting what you wanted sexually? There are few absolutes when it comes to sex, but most of us have learned a thing or two about what doesn’t work when it comes to setting the mood or getting what we want. Share Your Story

Wrong Focus

When you focus on ideas rather than emotions and sensations.
—Guest

bad sex is....

When your husband doesn't listen when you tell him what you need, won't touch your pussy, kisses and touches everywhere BUT there and it's not like you're dirty as you just had a shower and trimmed... Then he wants you to stroke and suck his cock and give him a titty fuck then puts lube on as you're really dry because you're not turned on AT ALL and figures it makes up for you not being ready. When it just turns into empty meaningless sex that makes you feel empty and used.
—Guest aiesha

It's all in the prep...

Bad breath and no foreplay definitely make for bad eyes closed, face turned, impatient and unsatisfying sex. Rules: shower, shave, brush your teeth, trim your nails, kiss, cuddle, caress and dry hump a bit. It's really not overly complicated.
—Guest Is it over yet?

All Wrong-- Why Am I Doing This??

The man I've been involved with for two years is terrible in bed but thinks he is amazing. His sex education is clearly from misleading porn and his past girlfriends played along (like me?!) and pretended that he was good. In fact, he penetrates WAY too quickly and has no clue about lubrication-- he actually thinks it feels "weird" when a woman is wet and part of his dirty talk is about "fucking for so long" that my pussy gets dry and the friction increases. He has NO idea how bad that feels even though I've said it feels better when lubricated. His oral is SHIT. He barely applies his tongue and moves it around inconsistently-- one lick here-- then up to my mouth-- then back down for another couple of random, off the mark licks. No lapping, gentle sucking, or good old targeted licking. UGH.
—Guest Ugh

Too Fast

Bad sex is when you don't even get time to get into the mood before a man ejaculates then instead of getting back into it he gets up wipes himself than ask if you want to try again.
—Guest Mr.5 mins

Bad sex is self-centered sex.

For good sex, you need to care about what your partner wants, how they're feeling. You need to communicate, to be open-minded, to be able to enjoy intimacy without orgasm being the be-all and end-all. Just enjoy yourself and each other and have fun. :)
—Guest Maggie

Learning from Porn

My ex was...just bad. You could tell he learned all of his skills about sex from watching Porn. He could not keep the same strokes going. I don't enjoy those jackhammer strokes. He would lick you until his tongue felt like sandpaper. 5 days of sex and I may have an orgasm once.
—cocoree

Reciprocity

Bad sex is when one partner is not responding to the needs and feelings of the other. When she/he just prefers traditional/missionary sex, that is bad sex.
—Guest bala

Mixed Emotions

Bad sex is when your girlfriend gets so upset that she literally cries because she wants to be pure and she grabs your dick every time you see her, so you touch her back. All this coming back to her crying again because she is impure
—Guest ?

Takes forever to cum....

Bad sex is when he takes forever to cum, and you becomer extremely sore and dry. .........no to mention the frustration that comes into play
—Guest energizerbunnygonewrong

Takes forever to cum....

Bad sex is when he takes forever to cum, and you becomer extremely sore and dry. .........no to mention the frustration that comes into play
—Guest energizerbunnygonewrong

Question Yourself

Bad sex is when in between thrusts and moans your mind is questioning why he deserves to have you. Its when you realize that besides a few laughs the only relationship you have with him is sex. Bad sex is when you want ALL of him and he only wants your vagina and your shoulder to grasp. Bad sex is when you lose your virginity to a man who was rough and impatient, one who forced himself in.
—Guest guest

Bad Oral

Okay, so when you have sex you know there's gonna be some swelling afterwards, but when a guy goes down on you there should not be swelling all up on one side all bruised because he thought sucking the whole time was good for you and no, whimpering is not a good sign guys, at least not during anything short of hardcore, bondage, or role-playing, but least of all not oral, and a hickie down there tears really easy. sure when a girl begs for it go ahead but when shes pushing you away and trying to get you to at least move around quick sucking, start licking. Nibbling and sucking should be at a minimum, focus on licking, tongue penetration and fingering and for god sakes move around, get everywhere within a 3 inch radius.
—Guest 69

When He Just Doesn't Listen.

Well me and my boyfriend are both into him taking over, dominating and restraining me like a primitive beast. But there are some times I just want warm cuddly sex with soft thrusting and caressing. Now I'm kinda the shy one about trying to suggest new things or different techniques so I try to steer the movement during sex but he's so much bigger and stronger than me and when I try to change the thrusting or position he thinks I'm playing along and restrains me tighter when I really want him to calm down for a bit. Another thing is when I just wanna make 'pillow-talk' afterwards and lay with him he tends to fall asleep or just keeps it going, oral, fingering, making out, and the like trying to get it up for round two when I'm already satisfied and don't want to keep going cause I'm too sore and I don't want to waist more condoms on sex I'm not going to get anything from.
—Guest Cassidy

Bad Sex=feeling empty and sad after

I have to agree on this one. I was married for 32 years hurt my back permanetly everything went down hill after. I just can't be what I once was..
—Guest Bob Queen

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What’s Bad Sex?

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