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Readers Respond: What Is Great Sex?

Responses: 28


From the article: What Is Great Sex?
Great sex can be hard to quantify. Is great sex measured by number of orgasms? Depth of intimacy? Is great sex the same as hot sex? Trying to define great sex can be both fun and instructive, as long as you don’t approach it as if you’re writing a playbook and you accept that everyone’s definition for great sex will be uniquely their own.

Great Sex Tip

The best sex for me is when my partner gets his or her needs up front. The penis isn't the only tool in the chest. Hands and fingers are some of the best tools to help bring your partner to orgasm. For a male find the p-spot just an inch or three toward the front of the of the male in his rectum. Massage the point when you find it and milk it. The man will come like wild. For a woman there is a point about half a finger length that has a different texture. That small area is the G-spot. That is the main erogenous zone for bringing her to have crashing orgasms. It takes some practice to find the G-spot. Use some water base lube and explore. It doesn't feel like sand paper, but there is a texture change that is the best trigger for her. Again bring your partner off if you can. It makes for much better sex when you can use your fingers to find those spots.
—Guest Chrissy

Professional Help

The best sex I ever had was when I was with a man who really knew what he was doing. It seemed to me that he got professional help in this category. I also would like to add that how he got me turned on helped the situation very much. I had a blast my hot sex night was indescribable. Sex is the best when you really get yourself into and it helps when the love for the person is very strong.
—Guest sexaddict

Simultaneous Orgasm...and Cuddles

Great sex is when you and your partner have passionate hot sex and climax at the same time followed by long cuddles.
—Guest lovesex

Orgasm Order

Sex is great when female's orgasm precedes male's ejaculation consistently.
—Guest krishnareddy

When you realize he lloves you...

My definition of great sex is knowing that the man i'm with loves me and we can both let go and enjoy each other, with no worries...

Sexual Rhythm

when your level of arousal parallels your partners , during each stage of progression to intercourse and/or orgasm ...

giving and receiving

Great sex, for me, happens when you completely give all of yourself to your partner, mind and body, and try to fulfill their desires of pleasure. You have to be kind of selfless. And then with trust and selflessness, you exchange great pleasure.
—Guest mindbody

Good Sex

To me great sex is not about orgasm. It is true that reaching climax is great in sex. But there are times that it just doesn't happen. However, the closeness that a person feels with their partner, the intimacy, and the enjoyment of the time spent together is what makes sex great.

great intimacy

When two people connect so deeply they float, do not come up for air hours on end, collapse from exhaustion of being one, intertwine as one speak words that are sexy yet inviting bodies being sweaty what more can one say?
—Guest shawna schneider

For the Guys...

Great sex for me is to be able to completely satisfy my girlfriend. Great sex is not just the intercourse... When you love someone or want someone really bad and the feeling is mutual, chances are that you will have great sex! My girlfriend and I enjoy having sex and the trick is to enjoy every bit of it instead of thinking of performance (for the guys)...
—Guest Bobby

Respect and Knowledge of Self

That's an excellent question. I've been trying to find an answer to that ever since I started dating somebody about 6 months ago, and found that the sex is "great." I am so sure about that -- what drove me nuts is that I couldn't tell why that is so, and what made/makes it great. There is much love involved by now. But I think the answer has something to do with how well one clicks with the other person. He's enormously considerate and goes off the other other person's pleasure, while at the same time being very self-sufficient and taking what he needs. That's exactly what I am doing, too, so there is a a wide and open space of sexual gifts and offers which can be exchanged without the fear of doing something wrong or not being sufficiently pleasing; because each remains somewhat responsible for their own pleasure. What makes the sex great then is all the trust, love, excess, emotions and games which can breed in such an open and respectful climate. It is simply mindblowing.
—Guest Lila

Who Can Judge Great Sex?

I would put my last dollar down on the table to say, many would not know great sex if it smaked them in the face. How are you going to rate something when you don't know the benchmark? If you have only slept with 3 women or 3 men, what does great sex look like? Give me a girl that has slept with 100 men, I bet she could teach you a thing or two about great sex. If you had only eaten one pizza; could you be the judge of all things pizza. I think not.
—Guest god

Time Together

Great sex is between two people, married or not. It's the time spent showing each other private feelings and desires. You go to a place with each other, and the world around doesn't exist for that time together. It doesn't matter how, or which way, you have sex. It's the fact that you're together experiencing something new.
—Guest Joey

Totally Free

The summer my kids were gone, I had just had my tubes tied, so was totally free. I met a man and we stayed together the whole summer. It was the most wonderful sex ever. And there was no kissing or direct stimulation. It was he, fondling my whole body until I couldn't, didn't want to move. He then entered me and I was connected to him, actually feeling bone to bone connection, there was just total immersion as one. I have had good experiences since then but never ever like that. Unfortunately, he was also being sexual with many other women. I could understand the women wanting him, but I couldn't share, so it ended. Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake - oh well, it's way over, now. I do appreciate that I had a sexual period of total bliss one time in my life.
—Guest della

Fantastic During, and Long Afterward

The best sex I have ever had was with a man I was very much in love with and he with me. We were not married, but cared about each others feelings and experience, and were very turned on by each other (mind/intellect, emotions, curiosity, and body). The sex was incredibly caring, loving, extended in time, and explosive. But the part that amazes me the most is the lasting fantasies that resulted long after "sex" was over (we live in different States). Our "former" sex feeds my desire and fantasies even when we are apart. The mind and the heart are the most amazing sex organs.
—Guest newlyborn

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